Thursday, September 07, 2006

What do you say to the babies questions?!

We've been married for 11 years and because we married when we were very young, there wasn't much pressure to have babies immediately.

Initially, we planned to wait 5 years and then have a child.

Life doesn't always go according to plan. When 5 years was up, I'd just started a new job and wanted to "prove myself". To who, I don't know but that's another story altogether.

The years went on and on and to be honest, we didn't have any baby urges. (I recall the gynae once telling me, my dear, if you want to have children, I'd start if I were you - it only gets more difficult after 28.

At the time, I thought she was talking rubbish. After all, all the movie stars have babies into their 40's, don't they?

Up to this point, when people asked rude questions like when are you having children?, we could honestly say we're not ready.

Anyway, something happened when I turned 30. I started having these if we don't do it now, we'll regret it thoughts. And D was definitely ready.

So we started trying. I thought that like everything else in my life, I would set a goal, plan it and things would fall into place. Ha ha ha.

People still ask the question but now the facts have changed.

Now people ask, do you want children? I firmly say yes, we do want children. And then there's the awkward pause when they decide whether they're going to go where they shouldn't.

When are you going to have them then?

When God decides the time is right.

To be fair, this is a very vague answer and not very satisfying.

What must I say? On the one hand, it would be good to say something like: listen, idiot, we've been trying for 2 years. I have endo and he has defective sperm.

That's one way to shut them all up for good.

It's nice to dream...


  1. I don't think you owe anyone an explanation at all. I think the right answer is, "perhaps you're not aware but that's a very personal question and sometimes the reason is something difficult or distressing that maybe the person you're asking doesn't want to discuss."

    Or then there's the "listen, idiot..." approach which I'd probably take.

    I have the opposite issue. We have the kid, but everyone asks us when are we going to get married already.

  2. Mom-101, thanks for dropping by.

    The "listen idiot" approach is more my style LOL

    I thought you guys were married?! I must be honest - I would also probably ask :-)

    How interesting! What do you say?


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