Monday, March 19, 2007

Baby boys and baby showers

baby boys
Let me tell you about A. I work with her and when I first found out she was pregnant, I was all happiness and sunshine and we got talking. She then told me that even though she’s only 25, they’ve been battling to fall pregnant for 3 years. They went to the same infertility doctor I / we saw in November. And like us, they also told them that anything other than IVF was useless to try. Nevertheless, they decided to do AI and they were pregnant, first time around. Happiness!

Her pregnancy progressed beautifully and except for the fact that she continued smoking, she was looking after herself very nicely.

Well, she was due in June sometime, after the Ungrateful Pregnant One (early May) and my sister (late May). So imagine my shock/ horror when I heard from UPO that A had the baby. This is at something like 26/ 28 weeks. Nobody knows why her waters suddenly broke.

A and her baby boy are both fine, despite the fact that he only weighed 800g! I was so scared for her, imagining all the worst things, but he was moved out of NICU after a day or two.

baby showers
Speaking about UPO…

She'll be going off on maternity leave during the last week of April – that’s about 5 weeks left. Now as you all know, it is customary to throw a baby shower for one’s colleagues.

I’ve mentioned before that if there’s anything vaguely non work-related that has to be organised at work, like someone leaving, getting married, having a birthday, etc, I’m usually the one organising a card, present, party. But I can’t do it this time. Not only that – I don’t think I will be up to even going. Sitting in a room with 30 women all cooing over a baby is going to be torture! Even now, I’m fine talking with her one-on-one but not in a group - I then have to leave. And I have seen recently that she’s become more tactful about baby things. Prayer does work!

And strangely enough, I know she’ll understand. I have to protect myself so up the boundaries come. It’s the rest of them that won’t understand. People think you’re just being weird when you don’t want to participate in the “rites of passage”. What rubbish!

The other day another team member suggested that the three of us go to a maternity shop to help UPO buy some maternity clothes. Before I knew it, out of my mouth popped, “I can’t think of anything I’d rather not do!” I tried to cover up with a joke but it didn’t quite work. Oh well. They pay me to work, not for all this other rubbish…

Anyway! Any suggestions for dealing with this baby shower thing?

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