Friday, June 19, 2009

Dreading the baby showers

My baby shower is tomorrow - I think there will be 10 of us altogether - and then I have a gigantic one at work on Monday with about 30 people. Actually, I've read about really big ones of 80 - 100 people but 30 is gigantic for me.

I've never enjoyed baby showers because the way they do them in South Africa is they dress the woman up like an idiot a baby, complete with nappy (diaper), etc. and play stupid games (guess the present and if you guess wrong, you have to do a "forfeit" like eat a horrible concoction). Ughhh. I shudder at the thought.

I'm not very frivolous so once I decided that I actually hate these things, I just started saying, "thanks very much but I don't go to baby showers; however, I'll drop off a gift with ________ afterwards" which was working beautifully. Even if people thought I was strange - that really doesn't bother me in the least.

Then of course I was infertile so in addition to the stupidity, I also felt a physical stab in the heart whenever I heard about baby showers, wondering if I'd ever have a baby of my own.

I don't think much has changed because I still feel infertile.

But now, of course, I'm having two babies which definitely means baby showers.

When my friend asked me if she could host one for me (knowing how I feel!), I told her yes, but only on my terms. So there'll be no dressing up, no surprises and no weird games. Just open up presents, eat food and talk.

We do the work ones like meetings so there's no time for faffing around with games and what-not (thank God) but they do like the surprise thing. So I jumped in and told the person most likely to organise it that I want NO surprises as I don't want to go into premature labour just because some people want to have a bit of fun.

So they eventually told me the date and time :)

But still...I am feeling the dread.

On the other hand, though, I can't wait for these to be over so I know what I can go buy because my poor babies' room still looks like this... and I need to cross some things off my to-do and to-buy lists while I still have some energy left.

So, do you all love baby showers or what? How do they do them in your part of the world?


  1. Lurker here, coming out to play! Hi!! *waves*

    I hate showers. Really. Hate. I like the friends, the family, the food, the conversation and oh I looooove the presents...I hate the games and the nonsense. I rarely attend, yet always send a gift.

    I have been reading your blog a short time and it was only recently I realized you're in S. Africa. My daughter just graduated from college and she flew to Johannesburg and then on to Gaborone where she will be staying in the dorms at Botswana University for 6 wks participating in a program were she'll be teaching/counseling people with HIV/AIDS. She is LOVING it so far and I'm so glad. Trip of a lifetime and an experience she'll never forget. After their program ends she and a few others are spending 10 days in Cape Town.

    Sorry to have rambled :)

    I hope your baby showers are everything you want them to be and nothing you don't!

  2. I hate them (only because they have pointed to something I can't have), but if I ever get to that point, I most definitely want one!

    You'll enjoy it more than you think, I bet!

  3. We have some pretty stupid games that we play here too, and I've always been very adamant that we will NOT EVER play those games at my baby shower. The worst one, in my opinion, is that they melt candy bars in diapers to look like poop, and then you have to pass around the diaper and sniff the "poop" and look at its consistency to guess which candy bar was used. It's disgusting! In fact, they played it at the last shower i went to, just a month or so ago, and it made me nauseous just watching. I couldn't play!

    Sometimes, they'll make blindfolded people taste baby food to guess what kind it is. Sometimes, we use a piece of string to guess how big around the mom is. Sometimes there are relay races to accomplish a task such as hold a baby doll while talking on the phone and try to hang as many clothes on the clothesline as possible in the alloted time. Other times, you have to see who can change and dress the doll the quickest. And, I've also seen people chug a beverage out of a baby bottle to see who does it the fastest. I've seen people race across the room with balloons in their shirts. I've seen it all!

    My overall feelings: I don't mind the gifts and friends and food, but the games have always been what I hated most. While going through infertility, showers were definitely hard to go through. I often went home and just cried, curled up in my husband's arms.

    I'm excited about my own shower, but that's a lot because I know exactly what we are doing. I planned it all myself, choosing only games that I think are fun, and making everything the style I prefer. Hopefully your shower won't be embarassing or labor-inducing, but I hope that you're able to enjoy all of the great gifts you receive and to celebrate your two little miracles with some people who love you dearly!

  4. Oh my god I cannot believe they make you dress up like a baby! HORROR!!!!

    I don't much care for baby showers around here, but mine was pretty fun. I am not into any of hte stupid games, but my sisters had it for me and they did a quiz about me Nick and the baby. It was actually really fun and funny. Very low key. Great food and good friends just hanging out. PLUS I got tons of wonderful things for the nursery! I was just like you and didn't want to buy anything until after the showers, so it was really wonderful to finally come home with some baby stuff!

  5. Yes, indeed they do make you play stupid games. Grrr!

    poppy, Hi!!!

    PJ, am hoping I enjoy more than I think. I actually decided to focus on the things I love, like connecting with friends I haven't seen for a while, and make the baby shower part an incidental :)

    Mandy, I can't WAIT to hear about yours - I know you're going to have a fab time because it's organised that well.

    Sarah, that's exactly it. I want these two over and done with so i can go get the baby essentials - vests and babygrows (onesies) :)


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