Wednesday, November 18, 2009

What is it REALLY?

Why is it that things start going better?

Does looking after babies actually get easier?

Do we just get more used to them?

Is it a confidence thing?

I remember someone saying to me in the very early stages that you get used to living on only a couple of hours of broken sleep so it's not that the situation actually improves; our ability to adapt just gets better.

Is that it?

What do you think?

P.S. Strange that I should post this today because I have had the day from hell. Not the poor babies, but my nanny is driving me NUTS! I was THIS close to telling her to just take her things and go!

P.P.S. Interviewed two ladies for the position so far. Two to go!


  1. I have wondered the same thing! Like, now that I have learned so much more about E's cues & can respond to them... or since I've become a bit experienced with b'feeding, is that why it doesn't frustrate me?

    Although, I have read some on attachment parenting & that indicates "anticipatory" parenting makes for a much happier baby + Mommy (or Daddy, too, I guess! LOL)... the baby does learn trust & knows we will take of him/them.

    I adore the photo! Have missed being able to post/comment, but hoping to finally get the internet thing settled! Hope you're doing well over there. And kick the jerk nanny to the curb! ;)

  2. Hi There,

    I'm an ex South African with twin 3 year old daughters living in the US. Please feel free to check out my blog

    That said, having gone through 3 1/2 years raising twin daughters, I don't think it necessarily gets easier, I would rather say the challenges you face change and you become more confident at parenting your children. I myself had to learn to not take things so seriously and sometimes just roll with the punches.

    When my twins were 3 - 4 months old, I had days I felt like it is too much, I cannot do this. Especially when they go through growth spurts or they get sick and I was feeding and cleaning and holding babies 24/7. It is very overwhelming.

    You need to step back, take a deep breath (go walk around in the backyard a little) and tell yourself: "I can do this! This terrible day I'm having shall pass."

  3. We definitely adapt. We're currently having a fuss-a-thon over here. I'm hoping it's just a hungry growth spurt and not a cold. But with DH being a teacher, no about of sanitizer and lysol will save them! The real problem is that babies are forever evolving and altering and I just can't catch up!

  4. I think, for me, my situation actually changed, not my ability to deal with it. Josiah started sleeping more hours a night. I quit trying to breastfeed him and just started pumping, and when I started making excess milk that relieved one more stress. Furthermore, he became less needy, eating less frequently (and more at one time) and being able to play on his own a little more in the swing or play mat. All of this made me less sleep-deprived, took away stress, and made being with him more enjoyable. Just my experience...

  5. I totally think it is adaptation.

    @P.S. Fire her, don't wait. An irritating nanny just makes everything worse.

    @ P.P.S. GOOD!

  6. I think the biggest contributor to parenting seeming easier over time is that we know our children better. When we can predict how they will react, or what will be effective, we can skip over all the "wrong" answers that we've tried in the past. The additional sleep doesn't hurt.

    My husband and I play what feels like a long stretch out game of ping-pong parenting.
    He's here. We figure out how to parent together. We hit our stride.
    He goes overseas. I learn how to parent by myself.
    His deployment ends and he returns home. He has to get to know the kids are their current stage, and we have to learn to parent together.
    Rinse and repeat.

    Judging by my own experience, it's the level of experience and comfort and the shortcuts at our disposal that make things feel more manageable.

  7. I guess I'm the only one that feels that way... :-)

  8. I think we adapt a little; gain a little more confidence and get comfortable handling our babies/knowing what they need. But, like a previous commenter mentioned, I felt so much better when they began to entertain themselves a little more and I didn't have to be attached to them every. single. moment. I'm loving the stage we are in now where I can sit them down with some toys and they are happy to roll around and explore for a little while.

  9. OMG.

    I'm gonna sleep for the next 8 months in preparation. :)

  10. Well, we only have the 1 baby but I reckon that my confidence has increased and that my (v high) expectations (of myself) have decreased and that we're gradually heading to what I'll call the 'parental equilibrium'.

    I agree - ditch the nanny. Here's hoping the remaining interviews go well and you're spoiled for choice :)

  11. Saffy, I love that - parental equilibrium :)

    hmmm, expectations...

  12. Anonymous9:36 pm


    Babies change us ~ no matter how you get them.

    We become more adaptable, more tolerant, less self-focused, more flexible... in a word ~ Better. Babies make us "better people"!!

    Keep up the wonderful work. Your babies are beautifully healthy and happy!!

  13. It's a little bit of it all. Plus as they develop a rhythm/routine with you, then you get more sleep, even if it's only 15 minutes more, it can make all the difference.

    I think the two biggest factors is learning to relax and becoming more sure (confident) of what you are doing and how to respond to them.

    Love the pictures, they are so cute. We take LaRue to the midwife on Tuesday for our last check up. Can't wait to see how much she weighs! She's already outgrowing this 0-3 month clothes. Yikes!


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