Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Gratitude and happiness

On Saturday at the infertility support group (D says it should be called fertility so as to focus on where we want to be - true!), someone asked during the group sharing session how I coped with those early newborn days without going bonkers and needing anti-depressants.

That's my paraphrase of her question.

At the time I said I didn't know but also D was great, etc.

Later I thought of a better answer.

Through everything I am always aware that I am very blessed.

Firstly to live in South Africa where childcare, night nannies and cleaning ladies are so affordable.

I am WELL aware that if we lived in a number of other countries we'd NEVER be able to afford IVF.

And then we probably wouldn't be able to afford a cleaning lady let alone a nanny.

There's a twin mommy who works at my company who can't even afford a cleaning lady let alone a nanny. Her mom looks after her girls. I am amazed she can still function as she's single!

I've written before that I don't know how some of you ladies do it - I honestly don't. I would be insane without my nanny.

And then secondly, my kids are healthy.

Even though they were 8 weeks early, there are no sight, hearing or other problems.

I always think about M's baby and how she has brain problems - I was telling my "friend with the twins" how the brain thing is becoming more apparent now...especially since mine are so alert, inquisitive and sassy... though I have not stopped praying for her.

I am blessed.

I'm not the world's most grateful person - definitely not - but maybe because of that and because I know the link between being grateful and happy, it's important for me to constantly check in and think about all the things I'm grateful for.

When I read this kind of post, I always want to know HOW.

So this is how I do it - I literally give myself a talking-to and remind myself of the good things in my life - a God that cares about the little things in my life, an involved and very hands-on husband, two precious babies, a wonderful, wonderful boss, a job that I'm good at even though I often get antsy pants, money to live comfortably in a country where the majority of people live in poverty and a fantastic climate.

When I really feel blah (not often but I have my days) there's at least something on that list to cheer me up and sometimes God also gives me a BEAUTIFUL grey sky and I'm happy again.

Are you a naturally grateful about your life? What are your tricks to feeling happy when you're having a blah day?

P.S. If you're on anti-depressants, have at it. I have no problems with AD's. This is what works for me.
P.P.S. This is my 30-min post for Steadymom's challenge


  1. Sometimes I actually have to pinch myself and say, my , you are living a charmed life.

  2. Every time I look at D I think how long I waited for her and how much she was wanted and is loved. That's my AD x

  3. Yep-It's all in perspective, isn't it!? I am so thankful I changed mine!!

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. Awesome post! I do try to practice gratitude as well when things are feeling kind of down. It's normal to feel down sometimes, but I think I get myself in a pity party that starts to spiral, but if I remind myself of all the blessings I have: three wonderful kids, awesome husband, beautiful house, great job. It makes me feel so much better and I realize I'm being silly for being down.

  6. Mine is - "Every day in Every way, my life is better and better" and truly it is. I think a lot about something my Mom said to me, that there is always someone worse off than me, and someone better off, so just make the most of what you have. I used to suffer terribly from melancholy/depression as a teenager/young adult. AD's helped me get out of the hole, but I'll never go back there again. I now recognise some thoughts as pure lies and try not to give them anchor.

  7. When I get a little down, I try to remind myself how long we waited for our babies, and how very blessed we are to have them. I am honestly so humbled by this opportunity.

    That's certainly not to say I don't have my "pull your hair out" moments...trust me, I do, sometimes for days in a row...but I try to force myself to step back and consider the bigger picture.


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