Monday, September 13, 2010

Scolding other people's kids

The prompt this week is very timely for me as I found myself in a situation a few weeks ago.

We go to the family room at our church with the kids and it's a very nice set-up with the chairs in the middle and all along the side walls and at the back there are tables and chairs with crayons and colouring books, puzzles, etc. There are also two changing stations with wipes, nappy bags and air freshener :) There is a huge screen so we can watch the goings-on in the real church auditorium.


I've made no bones about the fact that the deacon who works there deserves a medal. A lot of the kids are allowed to run loose while their parents ignore their bad behaviour.

Yes, it is a place for kids to be more free but I still believe that you need to watch over your kids and make sure they're not disturbing others.

I am not including babies... I also had crying babies and until you get their bottle in their mouths, they are going to scream :) Thank goodness those days are over.

It's the older kids who run around, shrieking like banshees that bug me.

At first I just tried hard to ignore them and focus on the message but now, not so much.

So, two weeks ago...

Two kids were chasing each other around the room, clearly disturbing a whole lot of us who were trying very hard to get some Word.

I know that Sunday morning is the only time I have to hear God's Word in a church setting so I really go in with an attitude of "give me whatever you can - anything I can take and apply to my life" and I get it.

These two ran around the perimeter of the room one complete round without any intervention by either of their parents and when they started round 2, I went to the front runner and said to him, "please will you stop running and play quietly. I'm trying to listen to the pastor"

And they stopped.

D said he can't believe how bolshie I am. I told him the same thing I told you - it is the ONLY time each week I get to hear the word and I'm going to protect that time.

So.......... what would you do?

P.S. I would do the same thing on a playground. First watch and see if the parents intervene. If they're not going to see to their kids, then I will.

Before my kids were born, I'd said to a friend's kids, "please stop running in my house. Do you want to run and play? Let's go outside" :)

P.P.S. I hope this goes without saying but I never allow my kids to misbehave with others. Just yesterday we had a lovely tantrum because Connor wanted a little girl's toy and I wouldn't let him grab!


  1. I try not to intervene too much during playdates - so if one of their friends doesn't want to share his or her toys, too bad for Penny (poor girl is often railroaded). But I do try to distract misbehaving kids and on the playground I do scold. One time some older kids were roughhousing and knocked Penny off a swing! Mama Bear came out that day!

  2. I tend to do the same thing, I wait to see if they intervene, and then wade in. And if the Mom is noticeably nearby I make sure to speak loud enough so the Mom can hear me correct their child.

    I've also been known to correct my child loud enough so the other children could hear.

  3. Oh I say my say. But in a nice way.

  4. As a mom that's been around the block a few years (Kendra is rapidly approaching 16!!!), yes, I would correct another person's child if I felt like they needed it. Our church is small, and I've taught many of the kids anyway. I have a bigger problem correcting teens or near teens unless they are family.

    It's one of those things I judge by feel. Some mom's are so use to their kids constant misbehavior that they don't even notice it. Some parents honestly don't know HOW to curb their children and are relieved when somebody else does it for them. Some have their children with them so little of the time (up and to day care while mom works, kid all day at daycare...or if older, off to school and then back to day care, when mom finally picks them up, grabs fast food to eat in the car, fast bath and straight to bed. ... and as they get older they are in 5 - 6 activities a year) that they are use to other people doing the correcting and training anyway.

    But getting increasing common is the parent of a child who can do no wrong. That's the parent I try to avoid - because they will jump in with both feet and a chip on their shoulder if you dare suggest that their child was the one at fault.

    It's even worse if that child that can do no wrong is a "special needs" child. Then the growing throng will always side with the mother.

    Feel free to correct my kids if they need it - chances are I'm sidetracked and the fact has not yet penetrated my thick fog of smoke produced by trying to burn the candle at both ends.


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