Sunday, October 24, 2010

In which my J side comes out to play

The babies are sick.

D and I were just talking about how different they are when they're not well.

Connor is exactly like me. He just carries on being himself, while the liquid pours from his nose and occasionally coughs, but is just the same.

Noisy. Boisterous. Active.

Kendra, on the other hand, is just like D. She acts as if she's dying.

Cries pitifully. Wants to be held all the time. Sobs as if her heart's breaking. Lies in her cot sucking that dummy!

I have patience for that up to a point (because it is SO lovely when they snuggle with you) and then her father has to step in.

As I write this, they're having their morning nap.

Since the weather got very hot, they've been sleeping longer so I can expect at least an hour, more likely 90 mins from Connor; Kendra an hour but if she starts coughing, she'll wake herself up.

We're then supposed to get ready for church but we won't be going since I don't believe in infecting people unnecessarily. If that's different from how you operate, please share your thoughts - maybe there's something I'm missing because I often see sick babies out and about and wonder about it. This is a safe place to air our differences.

And then we had a lunch date with my friend, M and her baby, also M. The babies' "triplet" friend who was born 6 hours before mine were born, also at 32 weeks.

We are obviously not going to lunch either but this is where I really saw my J manifesting yesterday.

I know (in my head) that the babies are not well, we're not 100% either and most of all, baby M does not need any more troubles. She's on 4 different sets of medications - seizures, whatnot and if anything happens, they have to weigh up any new meds in the light of all the existing stuff. Big Schlep.

But I like things to go according to plan. Sticking with my commitments. Having things go according to schedule.

We've had this lunch scheduled for a few weeks already and we've both been looking forward to connecting with one another.

Chances are, M's bought extra food too and may have started preparing some of it by the time I called her late yesterday afternoon.

So you see why I hate not following through.


Anyway, I do realise this is the cross a J mom has to bear.

And I have generally healthy babies (I'm wondering if the formula added to their good health - since we're on 100% cow's milk, they've picked up more things. Or is that just coincidence?) so what am I on about?

As for me and D?

I took some Degoran on Friday night and slept for 10 hours straight! Got better through the day yesterday and am about 90% fine now.

D's throat is still sore and of course, he can't wait to go to the doctor's tomorrow. I don't believe in going to the doctor for a cold but D is a man and loves antibiotics (I have never been on antibiotics!!!).

What are you like when you're sick? And your partner?


  1. I'm an ESFJ mom according to the test. Hope your kiddies are better soon. Once they start playschool I think one gets passed the whole sick child thing very quickly. Mine have never had anything other than a cold - we've managed to skip ear infections, tonsilitis and any other weird stuff so far. Touch wood have never even had to deal with gastro. If they had anything with a fever or gastro or pink eye or any of the childhood stuff like chicken pox then I wouldn't take them, but if it's just a cold then I wouldn't cancel plans. Having said that, if the child they will be visiting has medical issues then that's a different story. Friends of ours in CT have a daughter with CF and she can't be exposed to even a common cold, so I would always phone and cancel if Zoe was snotty and ask other mom's that were coming whether their kids were well. She's Zoe's age and has started playschool and obviously as she's a bit older now, things aren't quite as serious.

  2. I used to be in the fence about whether or not I was a J. Thank you for this post because now I know I DEFINITELY am!

    One of my greatest pet peeves is when people flake on me. (do you have the expression in SA? It's basically people who make and break plans often) I have such high expectations of myself and others that it truly disappoints me when someone bails. To wit, I rarely bail on plans I make, even if sometimes I should. Like you, I am lucky that my kids are rarely sick.

    As for the bringing sick kids out and about things, I don't you should if your kids are really sick. Adults are a different story in my opinion - like, man up! it's just a cold!! However, I am probably one of those moms that would seem like I bring my sick kid out in public. In reality, my son has a runny nose from October through April. He is not sick, its just how his head works. We are getting it checked about by a specialist (he also has a severe drooling problem that is no longer age appropriate) and hopefully we'll get some answers as to why. But in the meantime, I look like the mom who brings her sick kid everywhere.

  3. Sick kids out in public- I do not do this. I take them to the doctor and might take them to the pharmacy if there isn't another option. But when they are sick- they are at home. If they are feeling okay- I do let them play a little outside but not with friends.

    My theory is- the first year or so of life- your baby isn't going to get sick very often. But once they start walking/crawling and putting everything in there mouths, they are exposed to more germs than before, but their immune system isn't as strong as an adult- so they get sick often. Good news is- usualy they develop a better immune system and the next year they are sick a lot less. So I think one bad bad bad season of being sick all the time- then you are good exept for random illnesses.

    When I am sick- It really depends on how sick I am. WHen I am just a little sick- I moan and groan and act like I am dying. Why? I have no clue. When I am really really sick (or in a lot of pain- like after gallbladder surgery) I try to do my normal activities and get upset when I can't. My husband claims I am a pain when I am sick. I think I have to agree.

    My husband is a trooper when he is sick. He carries on as normal and I have to make him lay down, rest, and take medicaiton or even go to the doctor. He once had a sinus infection for 3 weeks and I had no clue he was even sick. He was just saying he constanly had a headache. I said go to the chiroprator they will help and he said "No- I think it is due to the sinus pressure I have had for a while now." I made him go to the doctor- his sinus infection was SOOO bad they put him on steriods for inflamation!

  4. I don't even have a doctor. But then I don't have kids either... which probably explains why I don't need a doctor! I do have a homeopath (this is a fabulous route that I strongly recommend) but even my file there went into the archives...


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