- The babies' one-year birthday next week reminds me of my birthday coming up (our goal of 36 weeks was a day before mine) and I'll be 36. 36! I can't believe it. I still feel so young :)
- It's the last day of June today so half the year is gone... which leads me to look at my goals and see where I'm at.
- And just a general feeling of uncertainty.
It's my J :)
This is like my turning 35 because last year was a blur of getting pregnant, staying pregnant, NICU, and the newborn stage.
When I turned 30, I really felt like I was on the brink of something big. Little did I know it was infertility!
I'd done so well work-wise and when I got to this company, I was also earmarked as a top performer, had a chat with CEO, etc, etc.
What on earth happened?
I don't know. But my salary is not benchmarked and that tells me they don't value me.
I stay because I'm in a comfort zone and I love my boss. I know that I'll not find his awesomeness again soon and I have such FREEDOM here.
Interestingly enough, I'm enjoying my actual work so much more these days because I told him I have no problem making decisions and taking control, he just needs to let me free. And he has, so I'm doing my thing, making deals where I'm comfortable, doing more presentations, etc, etc.
The only thing is the money. And like I told my friend Roz last night, it's not about the money as I live quite comfortably on my (low) salary. As you know, I'm frugal :)
It's about what the money represents - the fact that I'm obviously not valued. Which leads to a self-confidence issue.
I don't even have the answers to this. I'm praying for guidance and I bought The Workplace today so will have a good look later.
I need to change some things but I don't know what.
There are some obvious things... I realised when I did my last organising project with a client that I don't want to be away from my babies (I felt sort of resentful being in the client's house thinking, "I want to be home with the babies") so that's it - the last home project.
I've also delegated all the stuff I hate doing - loading my newsletters, website stuff, etc. and thank God I now have a fabulous new VA - and am already enjoying working with her so much.
Then there are some not-so-obvious things.
I want to zero in more and only do work I'm REALLY passionate about (I know that involves time management and speaking!). I've booked a laser coaching session (3 hours!) with a business and marketing coach for mid-July so we can hone in on my unique brilliance and cut out all the rest of the stuff I do, one of which will definitely be the in-home professional organising.
By the way, some of you may think I should just stop the business. To be honest, I was tempted earlier this year but I LOVE helping people in this way. And I'm good at it. And I've been doing it for nearly 8 years. It's part of what makes me "me". I've also realised that a happier me is a better parent.
And then parenting
I still don't know how everyone knows what to do with their babies. I am clueless!
In chatting to a friend, I realised that I needed to drop a bottle during the day and start sippy cups. So we worked on that and now they only have 3 bottles during the day.
I asked Deanna about the transition to sippy cups, she wrote a lovely blog post and I followed it to the T. They now take that lunch-time bottle in the sippy cup as well as any water.
The nurse said they shouldn't be having a bottle at night, and now they (mostly) aren't. She had to tell me how to do it though.
If I didn't have Annabel Karmel, I wouldn't have a clue about the food either.
But this stuff is not instinctive for me.
I need instructions and a how-to and then I do. What did people do before Google?
That's why I'm so regimented when something works. Because it works! I'm all about results.
The crying it out didn't work for us so I stopped. The very slow watering down of bottles did, so that's what we do.
Apparently my kids don't like very quick changes (Connor), just like their daddy.
But seriously, how do you know all these things?