Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Gift etiquette - what would you do?

Speaking of parties, I remembered something I've been meaning to ask you for awhile.

My kids got beautiful mosaics for their 1st birthday party with their names on them. Kendra's one is a butterfly and Connor has a turtle.

These gorgeous things are still in the cot drawer since that day because of one reason -

Connor's name is spelt wrong, with an E instead of an O.

(if it had been me, I would have double-checked the spelling before making the things)

Normally I am meticulous about spelling and such things..... D is even worse. He is a writer and is understandably fussy about spelling and grammar. Let's not even get started on butchering the apostrophe!
Do you know for MANY years I had issues about putting anything "out there" in writing (articles, newsletters and such) because I know he's a million times better than me? I'm over that now - I know that my sentences are encouraging to the people on my list and inspiring them to take action. That's what it's about for me.
Straight after the party, I suggested to D that we contact the person and ask them if there was a way to turn that E into an O with minimal effort and he was horrified at my forthrightness!

The giver is on his side of the family so I left it and thankfully, has only been to our house once since then.

You know me - I like things neatly sorted out and ticked off on a list so these open loops drive me nuts.

Anyway, am I being ridiculous? Should I just put them up? What do we tell Connor one day? What would YOU do?


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  3. I would put them up. My name is Katherine and as you know there are many different ways to spell Katherine and one just gets used to people sometimes getting it wrong. It's going to be a little while before he realises the mistake.

  4. Firstly, I think that you do NOT need to worry about your writing. You write beautifully and eloquently and I always love reading what you have written.

    Secondly. I have been in the same situation with someone spelling my sons name incorrectly(it was the school he was at - and his name was wrongly spelled on a Merit Certificate - needless to say I took him out of THAT school) and I called them on it. I insisted that they fix it and give him a corrected certificate. They were a bit miffed and initially didn't want to budge as they felt that I was being petty. I didn't care. I told them that they are being disrespectful to my son and that they can keep their certificate and throw it into the bin because I would not be framing and mounting that in my house.

    Surely they must check things like name spelling before having certificates printed?

    Fact is, you are not being ridiculous. I always check spelling of names when I give personalised gifts. Connor is getting to a point where he is going to learn to recognise his name and if it is spelled incorrectly then it could cause other problems that really could be avoided.

    I hope that you find some clarity on this issue. I know that it is so much more complicated if it involves in-laws. Good Luck.x

  5. On I would so try to change it. Maybe I can help you?

  6. I wouldn't hang it up if the spelling is incorrect...NO WAY!!! Try and change it and if you can't, se la vie!

  7. Personally, I wouldnt put it up but that's because it would bother me too much. I wouldn't worry about Connor getting confused. I'm sure when the time comes, you can just explain that it was mistake and you put it up because it was a very beautiful gift. My guess is that he won't be offended by the slip up. :)

  8. I wouldn't put it up. My name gets misspelled quite frequently, and it drives me batty! :)

    Could you ask the person who gave it to you where she got it? If you don't want to embarrass her, maybe you could follow-up yourself. Depending on whether it's a company or an individual, they might be willing to fix the blunder (or make another one altogether) at little or no charge. (I say all that assuming you like the mosaics...if not - and your motto is to be surrounded by the things you love! - let them go!)

  9. I LOVE THEM and Nicole, this person made them for the babies, so the thought is very special... yet!

  10. Ack, that is so tough. I wouldn't put it up spelled wrong either.

    I'd probably say something, if I liked them enough to want to hang them.

  11. I would suggest you take up Cat on her offer;-D

  12. Ooohhh, tricky! Is this a fairly easygoing person? Would you want to be told if you were in her position? (I think YOU would, and I think I would as well...but try to think like her!)

  13. If you can have it fixed, have it fixed...if not, chuck it?

    Strange that they wouldn't check the name first, and it's not like you spell his name funny to begin with.

    Before I even put a name on a birthday card I usually SMS and check spelling if I have any doubt. I have a friend who changed her Jackie to a Jacky after school, but since her real name is actually Jaqueline I don't think she can get to iffy about it...besides, I've just taken to calling her Jack now.

  14. You are not being ridiculous - I about have heart failure when my own sisters spell my childrens names incorreclty. Few people want to acknowledge how importatnt their names are to them, but it is, it's much the same as we like to be addressed by our name.

    Stick to your guns .. and I'm sure you'll get to tick it off the list

  15. I would ask them to change the spelling for you. Just say its something that has been bothering you and you would love to use their gift but the spelling needs to be changed. I would never put up something that is misspelt, just a thing I have.

  16. Can you put them in the garden? That way, it's not a permanent part of your decor?

    Also, if you're wondering what to tell him, just tell him that some people are idiots and the rest of us have to put up with it. It's also a lesson in etiquette.

  17. In my opinion, I would try to change it. There is nothing that irritates me as someone who spells my name incorrectly and there is so many different ways to spell my name. Try to change it and if you can't then explain it to your child one day. Maybe is will be different to me and understand.

  18. Agre with just about all the others - wouldn't put it up with an incorrect spelling. It's like taking out the vase you hate just because your Mother-in-law is visiting and she gave it to you. I couldn't be bothered about that, who cares? I don't give gifts and expect to see it used or about the house... so I don't feel that obliged to do the same. If a long period of time has elapsed since your received the mosaic, it might be awkward to raise it now though?


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