Sunday, March 27, 2011

My first infertility talk

Notice how I say "first" because I expect there to be many more :)

Speaking of which, if anyone knows of a church group or moms group in the Jhb area, I am willing to come share my story of hope, encouragement, inspiration and beating the odds (that's my slant, not so much the infertility bit).

So K, the group leader, told me that I could take as long as I liked after I said to her on Facebook, "20 minutes?!!! I could talk for 3 hours"

I took 40 minutes.

I tried to take 30 minutes but there was just far too much to share.

Also, when I talk, I check reactions to some of what I'm saying and I sensed that some girls needed to hear more about the "I am not alone" and all the emotional side of it. And about the "having a plan or something to focus on" part of it. Maybe that's a control freak thing? :)

So I went with that.

Turns out to have been a good idea because I've already received LOVELY emails from 3 of them about how valuable it was to hear me talk about it.

Interestingly, there were 3 of us that were "old members", all with twins. Two of them used donor eggs and it was so right that they were there because 4 of the new girls have been told they need donor eggs.

It was very encouraging to them to see actual donor egg success stories, plus our one same sex gal who is pregnant at the moment and looks all kinds of gorgeous.

There was also one girl who was a bit upset because the eggs they did ICSI on (they split hers and did half ICSI and let the other half fertilise "normally") were the only eggs that fertilised, and those two embryos were the ones transferred.

She said, "what good can come of ICSI'd eggs?" (too funny)

And I whipped out a pic of my two and said, "these babies came from ICSI'd eggs" LOL

She was so glad to see you don't get a more inferior embryo and that they do work!

There was also a lady there who said she's not infertile (has 3 kids) but feels like her purpose in life is to pray and encourage women like us. Bring it on! So she's been praying when people go through cycles and is texting them to check on them, etc.

Anyway, so I felt that the talk happened beautifully, just as if everyone who was there was meant to be there.

So special! And I was reminded yet again that this kind of support is so vital and so, so needed because even though we know the stats, this whole infertility thing is shrouded in secrecy so everybody going through it feels alone.

How was your Saturday?

P.S. Julia asked about Monday's talk at the church on organising kids . Also went beautifully and I'm doing an abbreviated version for my list on Thursday via teleseminar. If you want to sign up for that one, email me.


  1. You are doing a very good thing! Good for you! Glad it went so well!

    My 2 are ICSI'd babies also! So I too believe that very good things come out of ICSI'd eggs! :)

    Look forward to reading about more talks!

  2. So glad your talk went well! It's funny for me to hear that reference to ICSI. To my knowledge, that's the only way my clinic would do IVF. I don't remember having an option.

    My Saturday started out pretty bleak, as I had plans but Hubby woke up sick, so I had to cancel. I still ended up stealing away for a quick lunch while the girls were napping, with my two bestest friends here. I ate waaaay too many chips at the Mexican restaurant, but it was so good for the soul!

  3. So happy it went well. I suspect it's going to be a regular feature in your life.

  4. That is so cool! I'd love to be able to find baby loss groups and talk like that about our successes- I know it's not the same as infertility but when I was going through that I felt very alone and would have liked to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

  5. I knew it would go well... well done!

  6. That is so coll...well done :-)

  7. I am so happy for you that the "talk" went so well. I am happy to read that you focused on their reactions, that is why you have succeeded. Wish more people will work like that when giving motivational speeches.

  8. Brilliant! Don't you love that feeling that you were at the right place at the right time and needed?

  9. So glad it went well!! I guess MandyE explained my question as I was reading...ICSI=the traditional IVF here in the states? I am not too familiar with the terminology beyond IVF, IUI, etc.

    I hope you get the opportunity to do lots more of these sessions...I am sure you were so motivating for those ladies!!

  10. Ha! All the acronyms! We were IVF/ICSI via mTESE! The more letters, the more money! To this day I still don't think DH could tell you the exact process, he just kept to the schedule and did as he was told. Oh the memories! I'm so glad you did this and were happy with it's outcome. So looking back what would you change?

  11. So glad it went well! Isn't ICSI really good? I'm surprised someone thought things wouldn't go well with ICSI.

    My Saturday was planning, massage (you already know about that though), and dinner with a it!


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