Monday, May 09, 2011

The good thing about being around other moms with kids is...

Natalie & D2 (baby one is also D)

On Saturday we had a big infertility get together.

Huge!

Of course there were hundreds of babies.

I joke, only about 30 or so?

Accompanied by their parents although lots of the husbands had "hockey" and "fishing" and "work", otherwise known as avoiding large gatherings of women and kids.

There were a few very brave souls still "in the trenches" (S, it was so great to chat with you and R - I think he's amazing to have pitched). Personally, if I'd been in that situation I wouldn't have gone - far, far too painful.

Apparently over 40 babies have been born in the 4 years of the group. K just phoned me back - we counted well over 40, of those 11 sets of multiples (Dee, yours are the only triplets).

K has a beautiful house with a gigantic garden and the kids were in heaven - running around, playing, stealing toys, eating things they don't ever eat (my two).

Connor and Emma were single-handedly polishing off one bucket of Flings


So back to the topic.

The best thing about these things is the realisation that your kids are really not that bad :)

Sometimes it takes seeing them all together to see that everyone has crazy kids and you're not the only one.

But the best best for me is seeing how other mothers do things.

Example 1

Some hover, some totally relax, some are somewhere inbetween with regards to kids running around like crazy.

My friend, R, has two girls who were dressed beautifully.

I'm not 100% sure but I think they weren't allowed to sit in the sandpit. Understandably - those beautiful dresses would be ruined. See hot pink dresses.



Mine were covered with sand (and water - Connor) from head to toe by the time we left. They climbed into the sandbox and did who-knows-what with the sand but yes, it was everywhere.



I just let them at it knowing that I'd dump them in the bath (the curer of all ills, in my book) when we got home.

(they were exhausted and slept soundly with not a peep the entire night)


Example 2

My friend, C, has twin girls. The one threw a tantrum when her mother wanted her to share toys with the "babies" (my two) and so went to the naughty corner (a far corner of the garden).

That's her in the pic below (tiny little girl second from left) - this is also me being lazy and zooming in from where I was sitting very far away.


This was priceless.

After a couple of minutes, C went to have a chat with her.

She then returned without G so I asked what was wrong.

"G says she's not ready to share and wants to stay longer in the naughty corner"

Well, I laughed and laughed.

Too cute!

But this inspired me.

So I tried it with Kendra yesterday.

"Kendra, are you ready to listen to Mummy or do you need to stay in time-out?"

She told me she's not ready to listen to me yet.

Brilliant!

And sure enough, when she came out a few minutes later, she was listening!

I've always felt like time-out with her needed some modification. This might just be it :)

What's the best thing for you about being with other moms?

This is my favourite pic of the day - such a serious boy (was he okay, Caren?)



PS I uploaded nice big pics this time - click to view big and save if you are featured :)

8 comments:

  1. The best thing for me to get with other moms is then I can see that my children aren't the only ones who misbehave like crazy :)
    The one thing that makes me sad with get-togethers like these is that I can see how different my oldest is with his ADHD. I love him just the way he is but it gets a lot to handle sometimes and then I would wonder why my son was not blessed by the fact to be like others without ADHD.

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  2. Oh M, I'm so sorry. I get that too with our very "little" Kendra but I tell myself she's just small, but perfect :)

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  3. Would have loved to come but decided against it as we have been in durban and the routine is out now, still trying to get back into it also Im not feeling 100%, would hate to infect others! Sounds like it was fun! :)

    Suprised we the only trips, surely there must be others?

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  4. Let's see if it works now.

    Pics are lovely. Your Kendra is one sassy little girl.x

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  5. Unless I know the parents really well and unless it is family, I actually avoid taking my kids to parties and gatherings where there are other kids. My Tween has ADHD. He is loud and is busy and is overly excitable around other kids and people who don’t know him would think that he is a bit abrasive. I don’t like to put him in situations where he is going to be spoken about by people who don’t know and understand him and I often find it painful to watch him interact with so-called “normal” kids. The differences are so very obvious and it makes me sad for what the future holds for him. Just yesterday I was telling my Mother that I am going to have to start praying for a very good wife for him because I don’t even want to think about what he will be like in a relationship.

    My Toddler has some developmental delays. He started to crawl and walk very late (though still within the normal range) and as you know, he has significant speech delays. He is 3yrs old and still wears a nappy (not that we haven’t tried to potty train him – he simply isn’t ready – though some days he surprises us and removes his nappy to go and potty). We have tried to let him grow and develop according to his own timetable but it is REALLY difficult with EVERYONE having super genius kids. The comments from other people who don’t know anything about us and our children sting every single time and instead of celebrating my children’s differences and the fabulous individuals that they really are, I become self-conscious of them and their little quirks and behaviours. Honestly, I just find it really painful to be around other people and their “normal” kids. I know that this (i.e. avoiding other people and their kids) is probably the wrong way to deal with it but right now I have no idea what else to do.

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  6. What a fun time!!! Even if my kids are dressed up, I let them play in whatever...you only live once, right?

    I love when Matt stays in time-out...it's Heaven. It gets annoying though if we need to eat or something and then I feel like he's using it as a power struggle...there's no one right answer, is there??? :)

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  7. I do the same with Ava (in terms of time-out). She needs to apologise for her behaviour and if she's not ready she stays there, I usually only have to go back once. My girls are usually the dirtiest around, they're always barefoot and my mom tells me that she often had to hose me down before I could go inside after fetching me from nursery school so I guess it runs in the family.

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  8. Cant believe how many kids are from our group. It feel like only yesterday I was at those meeting with wet cheecks and a broken heart. How far we have come.......! I miss you all!
    Lots of love Nicky

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