Sunday, July 17, 2011

123 magic for ME

Remember this Sunday when the kids drove me crazy?

Well, I bought 123 magic and I've been ploughing through the book.

My kids aren't very naughty and are actually mostly just curious (so I discovered from the comments on this post) BUT I can't stand the business of saying the same things a million times and the time-out after time-out after time-out.

It makes me feel like I'm a screaming banshee and that all I ever say is "no".

I don't want to be a mother like that so we started implementing 123 magic.

And I must tell you that the biggest difference has not so much been the kids' behaviour, but mine.

He said something in the book (you all know I'm terrible at reviews - I hardly take notes and winter doesn't help either - once I'm in bed almost nothing will get me out), which very loosely paraphrased is:

Most parents are actually throwing a tantrum if they've totally lost control of their own emotions when they discipline.

This was me on more occasions than I'd like to admit.

And as the followers of the system will know, two things that are integral are "no talking" and "no emotion".

Difficult for an E-type who wants to jibber jabber, explain things to kids, interact, etc.

But he also refers to a scripture from the Bible that says, "do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged." (Col 3:21)

His stance is that the more you annoy your kids by all the constant explaining, the more you aggravate them.

I get it.

Already I get annoyed by people talking too much (I actually have a girl in the office who feels the need to explain things over and over, in slightly different language and I've said on a couple of occasions, "oh yes, you mentioned that yesterday" :)) so I can well imagine our children getting irritated too.

There's a lot less talking, explaining and raised voices around here but within days I could see the difference.

I sometimes only have to say "that's 1" and they stop.

Sometimes we go all the way (like this morning, double time-outs for FLINGING all the clothes out of their drawers ALL over their bedroom) but then there'll usually only be one incident
max per day.

But the best thing about this book is I'm calm and under control.

And they really are a delight to live with, much more than they were a month or so ago... :)

Prov 29:17
Discipline your children; you'll be glad you did - they'll turn out delightful to live with."

Of course, I'm well aware of how these things go - the minute the kids get up tomorrow they probably won't listen to me and you'll be thinking, "waitaminute, that's the after version?!"

How's the discipline going at your place?

What do you use?

P.S. Thank you, Rebecca, for writing this post which reminded me that I have to do an update on 123 magic.

Don't you hate it when you read a blog, participate, and never know what happened? I hate it! I hate it even more when I don't remember to update. Please remind me if there are updates I've forgotten about :)

P.P.S. New post here


  1. We do 1,2,3 magic here too. I have an almost 7 year old, 4 and 1/2 year old (who is also ADHD) and a 21 month old and it works well for all three. Of course my kids test the boundries every so often but as long as we stay consistant they go back to behaving. My kids tend to like to push the limits every so often just to make sure the bountries are still there. Ignore my terrible spelling.. DH is wrestling around with the kids and I can hardly think over all the laughing and mayham. :)

  2. Dylan is a pretty good listener. He generally does what I ask him to. Ryan on the other hand, looks at me and continues misbehaving.

    The other day, Ryan and Dylan went into the bathroom and I called to them and told them to get out...
    They both started saying 'oot, oot' and Dylan came out, but Ryan stayed in and flushed the toilet. I know he KNOWS what I am saying, it's so frustrating.

  3. 123's now on my list of "to buy" books...sounds like it can be truly M-A-G-I-C!!

    :) thanks!

  4. I still have not read it but it is actually going rather ok at our place at the moment. It's just the sleep thing - again.

  5. We have many ways to discipline on different scenarios - too many to name.

  6. This sounds really interesting! I've found three to be so much more difficult than two was, and I could totally relate to the fact that it is me throwing the tantrums sometimes. It is so hard to keep your cool and know how to communicate with them. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Always nice to meet other twin moms. :)

  7. 123 Magic worked for me too! My knucklehead has ADHD and the structure of this program was fantastic for both of us!
    In fact he's 20 now and we still use it!

  8. I have never heard of this. But I also find if I am calm but firm but kids tend to respond better.

    Also I have to discipline them so totally differently - Kiara and I are both fire so we tend to have explosive situations so I step back and often let D rather try discipline purely because he speaks her language and so gets a response easier than I do.

  9. I'm so glad it worked for you...I constantly have to refresh my thinking, but you're's me, not them.

    OMG...that last sentence made it sound like they do no wrong! I don't think so!!!


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