Friday, July 15, 2011

On receiving & what I did for me this week

I am really, REALLY bad at receiving help or things from people.

Really bad.

When I'm like this, D calls me Independent Marsh.

Normally, he just calls me Marsh :)

So a couple of things happened:

I got 3 gifts from one friend all within the space of a month. Two cards and a Keep Calm brag book (I just love the keep calm thing).

I don't think she planned them (or maybe she did?) to all arrive quite so close together.

I LOVE that people think of me and think to send me nice things that they'll know I love but I started feeling bad.

And I couldn't understand why.

Why do I have issues with receiving?

It's like I want to even things out because I don't feel right about being in people's debt or some such weird thoughts...


I still don't know why I feel like this but God challenged me in that moment.

I love to give other people things so I need to learn to receive things gracefully too.


When I'm in that moment I really have to challenge myself to breathe (Lynette's word for the year) and gratefully receive what the person wanted me to have.

So of course there have been a couple of things I received after this "lesson" on receiving:

  • * someone who did some work for me sent me a mail saying I didn't have to pay her and that the work was a gift to me
  • * people buying me tea at work
  • * lovely, blank cards arriving on my desk (they all know I'm a card-giving freak - LOVE it)
  • * lovely Nicole offering to go out of her way and buy me my precious binder rings (and I am having a BALL with them - I will show you soon)
  • * someone at work baking and bringing me ginger biscuits (cookies) - I LOVE ginger biscuits
  • * talented Mandy doing the giveaway for me on my blog of that gorgeous beach bag. Mandy also surprised me and told me she made me a Kindle cover - I am SUPER stoked and can't wait to get it. That did not take much work on the receiving part - I so very willingly receive it.
  • * Caren sending me all those pics which was such a labour of love - downloading, compressing, emailing. I know the schlep of sorting photos. I love and appreciate it so, so much and I gushed in an email back to her :)

I wonder if I've learnt my lesson yet? :)


And what did I do for me this week?

1. I turned off the computer at 10:30 on Monday and Tuesday. Huge for me.

Of course then all h*** broke loose with the website and I more than made up for that by only going to sleep at 1 both Wed and Thursday. Oy. I'm too old for this stuff.

(BTW guys, I happily paid someone to fix the website and she did what she could but then she couldn't fix the other part and that was what stressed me out. That and the fact that it's all unnecessary spending. It's not like I'm raking in the big bucks in my business. Things could be a LOT better.)

2. However, Wed I had a massage. When I got my reminder SMS, I replied and said, "I can't WAIT. I've been counting the days since last week". That seemed to please her.

3. Yesterday I had my session with my coach who tried to tell me I should go once a month but I said no, I'm very happy weekly because it keeps me sane... and moving forward fast. She said something very nice to me - speaking to me is like free coaching for her too because I make her move on things she's been procrastinating :)

4. Tonight I made scones - from a packet, but I added my own twist by putting in some cinnamon sugar. Yip, delicious :) I've been craving for a nice scone and we've both had a tough week. My poor husband is so stressed by work he's in bed by 9:30 at night.

5. And some of you will get this but I also totally organised all the party stuff (paper plates, cups, decorations (all my birthday banners!) and other overflow crockery in my sideboard and that was also ME TIME! There's nothing like a bit of order for my sanity.

6. But the thing that made me feel so good this week is this (and please don't laugh, Jayme) -

I wrote down two long to-do lists (master lists) - personal and business - and now my mind is empty, my shoulders are relaxed and the bits of paper are all off my desk. Bliss.

Tackling them is another thing as there are 14 personal and 22 business things. Good times :)

7. Oh, and I went back to the personal trainer and worked out twice this week. Miracle in this cold!

So that's me.

What did you do for yourself this week?

P.S. I just had a little boy run from his room to come sit on my lap for a two-minute hug. When he was done, he jumped off, said, "come" and off we went to tuck him back in. How precious! I love these little moments that only he and I share.

And now I'm off to bed, only 23 minutes past my deadline.


  1. You'd be proud of me- not only did I make a list (of blog posts I need to write for reviews/giveaways etc), but then decided it would be easier to follow if I saw it in calendar form so I went and bought a dry erase wall sticker calendar and put them all on there.

    I stuck it on the wall next to where I keep my computer.

    Between that and the menu board Lili and I made the other day, I don't even recognize myself!

  2. I have very similar issues with receiving. Like you, I LOVE giving people stuff but when it is reciprocated then it feels almost awkward. Feels like I somehow owe them even though I know it isn't like that. I wondered at one stage if it was a love languages thing. Gifts are not a big deal to me though it is always nice to receive something. Someone once told me that I am worthy of being blessed and gifted by others and that I deserve it and if I struggle to accept this then there may be an underlying self-esteem issue of sorts. I suspect that there may be some truth to that.
    I have had a VERY rough week. The best thing I did for myself was to go and see a Dr when I got sick and to take a break from exercise. My body needed it and my family needed it even more. Actually, I needed it too. And I knitted up a storm yesterday. Best therapy ever. Even went to go and buy my MIL some wool and needles yesterday.xx

  3. I also love giving because I feel blessed when I give...I have learnt to accept gifts because I tell myself that others also feel blessed when they can spoil me now and then.

    I have also resorted to writing to-do lists to empty my over active helps.

    Have a wonderful weekend my friend.

  4. I'm so much like you in that sense...I find it very difficult to receive...Even when people are being super nice to me, I feel awkward...

    It is nice to get nice stuff from special people though :)

  5. Oh I love giving too, but so bad at receiving.


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