Tuesday, July 26, 2011

So the personal trainer

I got home on Friday to find an email from the personal trainer.

She wanted to know if I was coming this week because she is a student and needs the money and I keep missing sessions and and and

I found it a bit cheeky because...

1. I pay her if I "flake"
2. The only times I legitimately missed I've been sick (twice) and I notify her as soon as I know I'm not going to be able to work out

Of course I had to calm down first because I was cross (there's that impulse control thing) so I mailed her back about an hour later.

I told her I was frustrated because I'm doing things the best way I know how but if she had other suggestions to manage our sessions, to please let me know.

Also, if my life was causing too many hassles in her life (because this is my crazy life!) and she'd prefer not to work with me, I would completely understand.

I was not being snarky; it's the truth.

Life is about choices and you don't have to work with everyone who wants to work with you.

I received an email back on Sunday to say there had just been miscommunication and yes, she wants to work with me to get to my goals.

So we worked out together today.

Seeing as there was a bit of tension, I decided to have a talk to her.

Is this killing you yet? (I know some people don't like confrontation)

Basically, I said that I don't feel like I'm making much progress because we're switching the format of the sessions too much.

Yes, I like the variety (I really do because I get bored far too quickly) but I want to feel like I'm actually getting stronger incrementally.

We agreed to do our normal thing for two weeks and every 5th session change things up (boot camp style) to infuse some energy.

Which all sounds lovely.

Today was lower body and abs which will be interesting tomorrow...

Do you like confrontations? How would you have dealt with this?


  1. Hey Marcia,

    I do not like confrontation but I would have handled this very similar to you...I mean really...YOU are paying for a service and YOUR lifestyle needs to work with YOUR workout...just my thoughts!

    You go gitlfriend!!

  2. I would have offered her a kurt lesson in subtlety and went about my business. If you're not working for her, then she obviously can't work for you, right? I think you're nice giving her a second chance of sorts, but if she is still getting paid when you miss she should be happier for the free money! I found the whole thing too rude for my liking. Sounds like she feels you are wasting her time.

    I also feel since you've given her too long to amend her ways. Two weeks is a bit much I think, and if she retreats to her old ways it will be another two weeks to fix before you can move on to someone new.

    I am horrible with face to face confrontations unless I am worked up or caught off guard. If it is something I have time to thing and mull over I can't follow through. I love using email, I can be as snarky and sarcastic as I want!

  3. I too don't like confrontation. It sucks big time but sometimes it is necessary. Glad you two could sort it out.

  4. I agree with what you did, give her an opportunity to learn from it. Running away from it doesn't empower her. I have the same problem with my nutritionist aka the food nazi. I need to curb her over excitement to cut certain foods out of my life - because at the end of the day if it starts becoming an impossible way to live, then I'm going to give up. I need her support and encouragement in getting it done, and not her judgement on everything that goes in my mouth!

  5. You handled this fabulously! I'm not thrilled with confrontation, but I can do it.

  6. Thanks guys.

    Heather, I'm the same. It's not like I'm out to confront any and everybody but I will do it as the not confronting is more uncomfortable for me :)

  7. Oh, htat would have made me cross too - but yes, I hate confrontation. But would have stuck to my guns too.

  8. Maybe you sense that I get all fidgety and tense reading your confrontation posts??? : )

    I hate it...but she really brought it up by emailing you first, so that I could handle. And I would have been a little horrified that she brought it up since you paid her for the missed sessions!

  9. Don't do confrontation unless I really have to. I do find it easier to be confrontational if I am paying for a service.
    In this case, I would have fired her. I don't pay for cheeky and sarcastic. Ever.

  10. I have issues with people "working" for me...like being their boss. I think it helps that I was in management and then was a teacher b/c I can speak to people in a way that isn't talking down. While I dread confrontation, I look forward to ironing things out which is exactly what seemed to happen with you and your trainer.

    Email is so hard too...some things can be conveyed in a way that is not at all how the person meant them. I try to take all emails with a grain of salt and would rather speak in person or on the phone. That's how we handled all snarky emails while teaching b/c it's not worth it to get in an online war where everyone is being misconstrued!

  11. I think you handled that very well.

    Personally I don't mind a bit of confrontation every now and then. Not every confrontation has to be a fight either. Having said that, I do come from a family with notoriously short fuses...if I start asking questions to clarify issues like "do you mean to say...?" and "am I correct in understanding...?" it's usually a good time to find cover, I'm just getting my ducks in a row before I blow the other guys' out of the water with a canon or something similar. ;-)

    It's not healthy to bottle up.


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