Sunday, November 20, 2011

I've got to say...

Thank you for all your comments on the previous post.

After reading them I felt like I was throwing my friend under the bus so thought I should write a bit of a follow-up.

The wedding invite did say "no children" but she phoned me even before it arrived to say I could bring mine because I don't have a live-in nanny and her siblings would be bringing their kids too.

The thing is mine were the youngest there. Her one son is 10 days older than my two but she brought her nanny to the wedding so he had one person looking after him (outside) all the time.

I do think it wasn't just my kids misbehaving - it was a combination of the heat, ALL the people, the noise, etc.

And now I've learnt something - they are too young to take to weddings!!!

Moving on...

(the most annoying thing has happened - my v on the keyboard is very sticky so I type, look back and see "moing on" and have to POUND at the darn keyboard. I'll have to get some stuff at work and scrub out the keys)

I did two things yesterday I'm very chuffed about.

Do you use the word "chuffed"?

I always feel so very hippyish when I say that word as I learnt it at Rhodes University. Another word I learnt is "kif" as in "cool" or "rad" (I know, I should stop - I'm ageing myself...)

1. My friend and her husband were married traditionally 3 years ago - this is their white (western) wedding.

They are very well-off (about 6 years ago she was already earning more than the salary level I may just hit on 1 Dec - let's all hope and pray! - by the way, do you and your friends discuss salaries and such? I do with some of mine :)) so of course they have a house (GORGEOUS!) totally furnished and need nothing.

The problem is what do you get a couple like this for their wedding???

Well, I thought and thought, and thought some more and eventually it hit me - a family photo shoot. She always LOVES mine and keeps saying, "I really should get some done" and doesn't do it.

My first prize would be to buy a Jeanette photo shoot but alas, I can't even afford the standard ones anymore (in a strange twist of fate, I'm the one who told her to raise her rates when I coached her LOL - she is still worth every penny though, trust me!) so I had to look around for alternatives.

I eventually found a girl in Pta and negotiated a mini shoot out of her with 10 edited pics for just R250.


Happiness :)

I then bought two photo frames in her house's style (all browns and oranges). In the one frame I wrote "Two together are better than one" (from Ecclesiastes 4:9) and in the other I wrote the details of the gift voucher.

I'm smiling again thinking of it.

I do love it when planning and thought pays off :)

(sorry, I didn't take a pic)

2. As we were running out the door yesterday, I grabbed a pair of flat black flip flops (nice ones, not the spongy sort) just in case the heels proved to be too much at the wedding after running around with the babies.

When we decided to leave, we felt a drop or two of rain.

I whipped off the heels, put on the flip flops and ran to the car with Kendra in my arms, just in time before the heavens opened.

I love it - the timing was perfect and I know I only managed to run that fast because my shoes were flat :)

By the way, I have a bit of a love affair with flip flops. I really need to stop buying them. My only filter is that it must have a very slight heel, even if just a few mm.

Then, some interesting wedding trivia about me:

I've never been a bridesmaid.

Are you gasping in horror?

I have a friend who has been one about 27 times :) if not more. Please correct me, Roz.

And before you feel sorry for me, please DON'T. I hate all that fuss and bother. I like seeing it for other people but not for me, thanks :) I'm the one who got married in the plainest ceremony (but one of the most meaningful, so the friends told me) - just me and D, no attendants, not even one.

So how many times have you been a bridesmaid?

What are your favourite wedding gifts?


  1. I have been a bridesmaid three times. The first was my college roommate. Sadly, we lost touch a few years ago...which wasn't completely unintentional, as she said something not-so-nice about my soon-to-be-husband! ;) We reconnected on FB earlier in the year, which was nice, but that's it. She's divorced from her first husband and remarried (as evidenced by her FB photos).

    The second was my little cousin. Sadly there again, the marriage didn't last long.

    The third and most wonderful was my best friend's wedding. I think that was the way it is "supposed to be" (at least in my mind). She was given away by her parents, surrounded by her sister and two closest friends. If done "right" (in my opinion), it's a symbol of joining two lives...ones with dear family and friends.

    Wow...I think what I'm about to say could be controversial (but since it's your blog, I'll feel free to speak my mind...HA!!!)...I think sometimes brides just choose a few friends to be in their weddings...not much thought...who their friends are at the time...a reason to make the party even bigger. I would say this was definitely the case with the first wedding I was in.

    Like you, I didn't have any was just J and I standing in front of our friends and family. Ultimately to each her own, of course, and that was just perfect for us. :)

  2. I've been a bridesmaid seven times, I think. Ugh!

    I keep in touch with most of them (though some only through facebook). Only a couple do I have close relationships with.

    Sometimes I think people just choose someone to fill a spot, rather than someone who they want to speak into their lives, which is how it should be, I think.

    I only had my sister stand up with me, and I don't regret that decision at all. Some of the other friends I might have chosen to stand up with me, if I'd chosen to have a big wedding (which I'm too practical to do), are people I don't even speak with anymore.

  3. We don't discuss salaries. I'd be too embarrassed and wouldn't be able to contribute ANYTHING meaningful! That is a fantastic gift idea! I have never been a bridesmaid either. Am I meant to feel odd about it? I had my sister and a friend who's living overseas now. Didn,t actually want anyone but have I mentioned that my wedding was all about everyone else?
    My favourite wedding gifts? Mmmm...vouchers or photo frames. And I like to give that Five LL Book if I know that they haven't read it.
    Lol...I like using that word "chuffed" and sadly I hardly use it. Will make a point of doing so..

  4. I was a bridesmaid once… to my best friend, we have known each other since we were about two!!! It cured me for life and definitly NO bridesmaid at my wedding because of it!!! I had a fluffy puffy dress - so not me the jeans and t-shirt gal, and fought the entire time with her friends from high school who were determined to terrible things like take her to a stripper for her kitchen tea… oh it was dreadful and could well have ruined a friendship.
    Otherwise wedding gifts: I try and give them something they will use every single day… I remember the folk that gave us our beautiful piece of wood as a chopping board every single day… the person that chose extra beautiful cancel sticks that have been in a box for countless years - well never ever think of them!!! Recently I have been giving: "Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food" It is a fab gift they can both use and it covers all the basics in the easiest way...
    Hope you have a great week!!!

  5. Never have been a bridesmaid, was a mother of the bride or groom three times.
    Being the artsy person that I am, I usually make a wedding collage or mini album for the couple. I enjoy it and it is something that I can afford.

  6. I am so jealous that you've never had to be a bridesmaid! I had to do it, twice, and told every friend after that, "sorry. NO." and i haven't done it since. and refused to have attendants at my own wedding!

  7. Well, don't feel in shock because I too was never a bridesmaid before.
    Also, I use the word "chuffed" a lot ;)
    And, flip flops are the bomb :)

  8. Oh my gosh, I love reading all the comments!

    So glad to know I haven't missed out on anything because all the fuss and bother is SOOO not me :)

    Se7en, I also still remember my friend Sarah fondly - she bought us a spice rack, chopping board and rolling pin, all wooden. We use the chopping board multiple times a day and LOVE it :)

  9. I've not been a bridesmaid ever either! And no, I don't like fuss either. Our favourite wedding gift? Can't remember to be honest. It is tricky when somebody already has everything and they are super rich, but I try to give something I think people might really want or like. The photo shoot sounds perfect!

  10. I love your gift for them, and that verse was the text verse for our wedding.

    I have been maid of honour twice -for my cousin and for my BFF (the one in OZ now with the twins). Both were morning weddings so quite simple but it was fun. Had the most gorg dress for my BFF wedding.

    Oh I would like to challenge you ont he amount of flip flops any person can have - I love flat coloured sandals, mostly flip flops and even wear them to work when I can. I have orange, purple, green and white, red, silver, grey and pink ones. Then flat sandals - turquise, black and blue ones

  11. Cat, we should have a flip flop link-up, just for fun :) I do think you "win" but not 100% sure... I haven't counted!

  12. I have never been a bridesmaid;-)

    I love your idea of a gift...I usually end up giving money of gift vouchers...that way they can get what they is a tad impersonal tho.

  13. I was a bridesmaid once when I was 11 I think. Can't say I enjoyed it much :-/

    I LOVE flip flops too - LOVE them. They are the only shoes I buy happily.

  14. I am SO behind on your blog. SO SO SO behind.

    I only have about 2 minutes to comment so am choosing this post to comment on because I have been a bridesmaid 3 times and I feel awkward about it. I am one of four girl cousins who were all born with four years, and we have all been each others bridesmaids (only one of us isn't married). So, when I got married, Ijust had the other three. That's all I wanted. Buuuut, I means that I didn't have one of my firends, who I *KNOW* wanted to be a bridesmaid and who had me as hers the next year.

    I think I probably made the right decision. but I still feel bad about it.

    And I'm really really hoping that the fourth cousin will be getting married in the next few years! She's got a great boyfriend. And she'd better invite us to be her BMs... I want a full matched set of photos of hte four of us ranging from 1998 (the first wedding) to maybe 2012 or 2013. Would that not be the coolest???

  15. Mmm...I've been a bridesmaid once, a flower girl a couple of times (obviously when I was younger), I've been a bride, and once I was asked to perform the ceremony for a friend who had the paperwork part done already, and I've been involved with the making of the cake and arranging of the flowers on numerous weddings as my mom's helper, and once I had to propose the toast on the bride's parents.

    I think I've more or less covered all the roles that i could play at a wedding - except maybe for mother of the bride? ;-) Oh and master of ceremonies, haven't done that one yet, or the photos or the music.

    I do like weddings... :-)

    My gift usually depends on the couple and what I think they might enjoy. I don't really have a standard wedding gift.


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