Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Perfection is overrated

So do you remember this photo shoot?

Well, I got the disc today and I have mixed feelings:
  • on the one hand, I'm thrilled that there are a few good ones in there
  • on the other hand, I have some snippets recorded for posterity of just how bad that day was and it brought ALL those emotions back
  • I really should get my hair coloured before any shoot!

this is a really nice one

this is at the end of the shoot when the kids wanted NOTHING to do with me. Poor Bronwyn tried to rescue the shoot by having me cling to D but I know what was going on so this pic makes me sad...
look at this - Kendra only wants Daddy, I'm distraught, D's being the solid rock and Connor's disengaged

as you can see, Connor is also done! Look at my face - tells the whole story!

I know there are bigger things in life to worry about but I just wanted to write a post because I'm not always happy about how things turn out and I do like a balanced view, not just the "perfect" pictures.

Perfection is overrated, right?

Do you prefer to show a view of only the good to the world, or a more balanced but honest view?

By the way, I just remembered something I read, again on Simple Mom.

She said that with the advent of the internet and blogs, it's become easier to portray the not-so-nice stuff.

I didn't read all the comments but somewhere along the top, someone said what I think - on the contrary, it's become harder to portray the imperfection.

Personally, I think just looking and reading all the blogs (and especially Facebook, but that's another post for another day) makes it seem like other people's lives are perfect.

In our minds we can logically think that cannot be so... but when people share only the wonderful things, it's hard not to compare your lot in life with theirs and think you're lacking.

Agree? Disagree?


  1. I agree but I hate to show pictures that make me feel "unattractive" so I suppose I am guilty of showing "The Perfect" but I assue you we couldn't be further from that and that's what makes my life so balanced & wonderful...does that even make sense?

    BTW, I love the one where Conner is walking away...


  2. This is totally what I've been feeling these days - everyone else's life is perfect, while mine mostly stinks. But in reality, it just seems like everyone else has it more together than I do. I just have to keep telling myself on a DAILY basis that it's not the case.

    I like that you show the imperfect pics too. And I don't think they're that bad. :-) Maybe it was a had to be there to experience it?

    It's been hard since I've really been struggling with miscarriages lately and still want to seem like I'm ok, but in reality, I seem to be spiraling downward. Boo.

  3. Oh Nity, you had to be there. It was baaaaaaddddd :)

    I'm praying for you re the mc.... :(

    Ginger, did you see the despair on my face? oy!

  4. well, you know me, I like to let the difficult stuff all hang out! But yeah, I find it REALLY hard when I am reading about other people's perfect-seeming lives. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me - why isn't MY life like that??? I have to remember that theirs probably isn't, either.

    For the record, I feel like your blog is a very balanced picture of the fun parts and the hard parts of your life. It seems very real! If you're faking anything, you're doing an excellent job :)

  5. When people share only the wonderful things - you already know they are not telling the whole truth!

    I find just the opposite...maybe my sarcasm and sense of humor always focuses on the craziness in life...and I rarely take time to appreciate the really good moments...and when I do, I feel like I'm bragging, and I don't like that either!

    Ugh - great questions you ask!!

  6. It's super easy to wrap things up with a pretty bow when you're only presenting a tiny fraction of your life, especially in a public / largely one-way forum. I try to take that into consideration when I read blogs and FB posts.

    As I was just saying to you, I feel "guilty" of this sometimes on my blog. By no means do we always eat healthy food / behave the way we should / speak in complete sentences with properly-conjugated verbs. :) But...I keep some personal notes of the trying times...I keep some pictures showing my messy house and crazy hair...but I'm OK with not showing that to the world on a regular basis. I little peek now and again works for me. :)

    So...I understand you may not want to print some of those pictures on canvas, but hang on to the some form or fashion you'll appreciate it one day, I'm sure.

  7. I think some people choose to only show, what i call the unicorns and bubbles, and not the gremlins. I often show both. I can not read blogs that are constantly negative, nor do I like sugar coated ones. I love real life - where imperfection is just part of it all. Do you remember my post about putting the Christmas tree up last year?

  8. Marcia, I prefer blogs that portrait the truth. In other words, the ones which show the world that there is not just wonderful things happening in their lives but also the hard and less wonderful things.
    I also get moments where the kids also just want their dad and that makes me sad but it has a lot to do with whom is the strict one as well in the household. I know for a fact, that I am the strict one and that is the reason why the kids go more to their dad. Sad but true.

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  10. I think the answer is unique for each blog.

    I prefer the ones where life is balanced - some posts ooze happiness and joy but some days they are dark and unhappy because that is how life is.

    There are blogs out there that do tend to focus on the pretty, the happy and the perfect - I think possibly those blogs cover up more than we actually want to know!

  11. I think that there are some really good pics. And your hair is really long and so beautiful. Too lazy and tired to wash mine's going to have to wait till tomorrow.
    I have a post in my head about the perfection showcasing on some blogs. I tend to stay away from them though because I end up feeling insecure which I know is silly. I just like it real. Because to me, THAT is perfection and it is NOT overrated.
    I quite enjoyed this post that I read a few months ago on this very subject:

  12. I tend to share/post just the good things when I'm putting stuff out there to the world (my blog/FB). But I talk plenty about my imperfections with my closest friends and family. Often I just need to talk it out before I can really move on, and I'd prefer to do that with people who love me and won't be too judgmental.

    However, I will say that I prefer to read blogs (yours included) that come across as really honest. Not to say that these bloggers are posting their imperfections all over the place, but the content seems honest, sincere, not too polished.

    I just wrote a blog post the other day where I told about a recent time where I lost my son at the mall. It was a horrifying experience, and one where any reader could certainly find a way to blame me, but I felt the need to put it out there because I know it's something that happens. Even to the best of us. And I would want a friend/reader to know that should it ever happen to them.

  13. I feel like way too many bloggers ONLY portray the good and perfect...
    I prefer to read blogs where you can see a more rounded view of the author's life. There has to be a good mix :)


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