Tuesday, December 06, 2011

I'm very good at denial

I read a post in my Google Reader on the weekend that reminded me of something I forgot to tell you.

Because I'd blocked it out, you see.

When Nanny V leaves for the day, Kendra does this whole song and dance about kissing and hugging her.

Kendra also waits til the last possible minute so basically the person is out the door before she twigs that they're actually leaving NOW.

I don't indulge in this wishy-washy behaviour in the mornings.

I tell them I'm going to work and do they want a kiss and hug.

If they ignore me (tell me my kids are not the only ones who flat-out ignore me) and carry on playing, I say (brightly), "bye! I'm off to work. Have a nice day" and I go.

Of course the next couple of days they don't faff around :)

Anyway, so this particular day, about two weeks ago, V was saying her good-byes.

Connor and I said "bye" and I clicked the remote to open the gate.

Kendra then SHRIEKED at the top of her voice, "V! V! hug! kiss!" and I was momentarily distracted by this drama.

In a flash, Connor was out the door and running down the driveway towards the gate which was WIDE open.

I took off after him shouting, "Connor!" and he thought it was a game/ saw his chance for freedom and kept running down the street.

In a vest and leggings, by the way.

I caught up with him about two houses down the street so those little legs are fast.

I scooped him up, my heart beating so fast from the adrenaline and the thoughts of what could have been whizzing through my head.

Of course I gave him a talking to - that he is not allowed outside without me, D or V because there are cars that can hurt him, etc.

I also told V that that was IT! No more pandering to K's nonsense - if V's out the door, that's it. K will have to cry for her hug and kiss but I'm not having a dead baby.

So that's what we now do and K seems to understand.

But that day, once we were all safe inside, I lay on the couch thinking and thinking some more. And then I started crying. Sobbing really, from relief.

I can't explain the terror I felt at how things could have turned out so badly.

Fortunately D arrived soon after, took one look at me and said, "what's going on?"

Connor said, "Mummy's crying...Mummy's sad".

D and I hugged, prayed and that was that. I totally forgot about it (or more likely, blocked it out) until I read this post from Reanbean.

I so relate to that terror she felt.


Have you had any such incidents?

PS today is the triplets' birthday. I can't believe it's been one whole year and I was right last year - they are GORGEOUS!
PPS today is also the 3-year anniversary of the Rod Stewart concert where I triggered :) Incidentally, I cut up the t-shirt I was wearing that night to make a necklace. Pictures to come!


  1. Kids disappear so quickly. I had the same experience with my firstborn. Then whenever we went to a crowded area, I put a harness on her. You wouldn't believe the awful looks and comments I received, but I didn't care--my daughter was safe.

  2. Me and my husband had numerous incidents that stopped our hearts from beating. My mother says that it comes with the territory of having children. She also said that it never stops, no matter what age they are :(
    Hugs my friend.

  3. We have too many of those moments especially with Kiara. She will stop in the middle of the road because there is a bug or something else that has her attention. Or she just walks and doesnt bother to look!!!!

    Even now at 7 as soon as she gets out the car she has to hold one of our hands or Jacks pram - she may not move.

  4. oh my...that is so scary. i had a moment with matt after i hurt my knee. i was in an immobilizer and we were at the library. he started running toward the automatic doors that open right to the parking lot. a nice lady who worked there ran after him b/c i nearly dislocated my kneecap again. i sobbed that day too.

  5. OMG, that is super scary! And yes, I've had moments like that. In fact, just yesterday Garrett let go of my hand in the school parking lot and took off after a friend just when a huge SUV pulled out and probably never would've seen him if I hadn't run after him so quickly. I couldn't help but think of all the what if's after that. Very scary!

  6. Sjoe. I often think that adrenaline is my middle name because while it is all happening then I'm rather calm about it. Once it's over though then the wheels come off. It's like the emotional impact of what happened only comes much, much later.

  7. Scary stuff. No wonder you chose to block it out for a while. So glad that no one was hurt that day. And good for you for laying down some ground rules with the nanny. Safety first, always.

    Sorry you had to feel that awful terror and panic. I've wondered too about my crying that day Buba disappeared on me. I was scared, I was angry, I was sad, and of course, so, so, SO relieved to have him in my arms again. We've not had anything even close to that experience since that day at the mall. I decided to lay down some ground rules myself, and now the kids know that they stay right by me (within my reach) or they get strapped into a cart or stroller. They enjoy being able to walk beside me like big kids, so they mostly obey. But I have had to strap on or the other down in a cart recently for straying a bit too much and testing the limits. This is definitely one area where I refuse to play games.

  8. That is scary! I'm glad you caught him before anything bad happened.

    With Nicola I find that the kind of goodbye that is least traumatic to her is a quick one. So when i drop her off at school, I put her in the teachers hands, give her a kiss and say, "Bye muis, geniet jou dag! Lief vir jou." And leave.

    My mom likes to do a looooong drawn out goodbye with Nicola, and innevitably she ends up bawling because she doesn't want my mom to go. *sigh*


Thank you so much for leaving a comment and filling my love tank. I appreciate it!

I'd love to answer your email so please make sure your email address is enabled. In Blogger, go to Edit Profile, and under Privacy, tick the 3rd block and then Save Profile :)


Related Posts with Thumbnails