Thursday, December 08, 2011

School friends

I didn't have tons of friends when I was at school.

In fact, only three very good friends.

Who all stayed in PE to study whereas I went to my beloved Rhodes.

There were lots of people I was friendly with but I wouldn't consider all of those people my friends.

Of course now with Facebook, you would consider all those people friends.

When I left school, I tried to keep in touch with those three and I kind-of did with the one, but not the others.

Nothing really happened, we both just didn't bother to really make the effort.

In those days, I was very black and white about things. Much more than I am now (with the callousness of youth), if that's possible.

So if I sent a letter and they didn't write back, I tried once more and that was that.

Written off!

Remember I finished school in the good old days when you had to write letters to communicate or otherwise use a good, old-fashioned landline which was expensive in those days.

It never bugged me, still doesn't, because I used to always be of the opinion that if we REALLY wanted to connect, we could.

So we didn't.

With Facebook, I deliberately kept my maiden name off my profile.

I really don't want everyone to know my business if we haven't even thought about one another for the last 19 years.

Yes, it's been a long time since I matriculated.

But of course, one finds and gets found on Facebook.

And I get messages like, "I wasn't even sure if it was you because I didn't know your surname". Um, yes. Totally intentional on my behalf.

I must say, I wasn't enemies with anyone at school so if anyone friends me, I accept. And some of them have turned into really nice people :)

We all look exactly the same except have got slightly fatter and with more wrinkles :)

I still am not good friends with any of my school friends although I do initiate some FB contact if I'm going to be in PE :)

I actually met up with a girl from primary school last year. We hadn't seen each other for 25 years and it was so funny - when Reception told me she was there to meet me for lunch, I whispered, "what is she wearing? I haven't seen her for 25 years!" but she looked exactly the same as she did at 12.

And I know if we were to get together, we'd have a good time catching up. 

I still don't try too hard though because I don't want to be seen as the one that is chasing the friendship.

Gosh, did I just say that?

Does that even make sense?

So, back to you.

Are you still good friends with your school friends? Or did you ditch them as soon as you could?

What was your plan about friending old school friends on FB?


  1. I had one best friend in High School and because I left school early, I lost contact with her. So after a few years, we found each other again and now are friends again. We just picked up where we left of, isn't that great?
    I must say that most people that was in the same school as I, turned out great or better but there is the occasional person who just did not turn his/her ways. Sad.

  2. Facebook can be a little maddening at times, but overall it's been a really fun thing for me.

    I was just thinking last night, as I exchanged emails with a friend from college, how very glad I was to have reconnected with her. We were close for a couple of years in college, and then lost touch. I'm so truly glad to have found her again, to know she's doing well. I would so love to see her one day if we travel to the west coast (she lives in California now).

    I exchanged emails this morning with a lady I used to work with. Again, so very glad to have found her, as she was such a warm mother figure. (She saw my post yesterday about being in the kitchen with the girls and offered to send me a recipe she used to make with her awesome!)

    As for friends from school, there are only a couple that I've consistently stayed in contact with...went to their weddings, baby showers, etc. Maybe one day I can catch up with a few more when I'm back for a visit, but right now it's too hard to try to schedule everything with the girls in tow.

    You know I love these questions about friendship, especially concerning social fascinating, really! :)

  3. I had a few close friends in high school, then a different set of a few close friends in college. (My closest friend, Kelly, was in both sets!) I am still close with two good friends from college, and still relatively friendly with several others.

    High school is a bit of a different situation... Since I live in our fairly small hometown, I am destined to at least keep up with the basics about most of the people I went to school with--whether or not I would label us "friends" is a different story. Many of my classmates are on FB though, and we do interact more so than we ever would have otherwise.

    Through our children (same MDO class, etc.), I am beginning to develop friendships with some of the people I was loosely associated with in high school. Having children the same age in such a small town pretty much means I will be seeing these people a lot over the next 18 years or I guess it's time to form some new friendships with them? : )

  4. Yup, i am still good friends with many people from high school. Two reasons for this though: 1. I am living in my hometown again and facebook. There was a period where we were all doing our own thing, careers, travel etc but now most of us are doing the married mom thing so we are back in touch. I had loads of friends at school and am really happy to still be in touch with them. I am even friends with school people i wasnt friendly with at school but they have turned into really cool adults....!

  5. When FB first came out I used it for this reason - to reconnect with school friends and see what they were up to. For ages they were the only friends I had on FB :)

    I dont mind them knowing my business - its my family who I mind :-/ Actually created a seperate FB account just for them!

  6. LOL Laura, now that's a fabulous idea!

    And I totally agree about not wanting them all to know your business!

  7. I'm still good friends with a few, but we're spread out, so we don't get together that, they're men, so the dynamic changed a bit when I met my husband. I sure miss those guys just recently had twins too!

    Other people from h.s.? I find myself liking them much more as adults than I did as teeenagers. I don't remember most of h.s., so I guess that bodes well for the a-holes, right? LOL

  8. Like you, I had only a few good friends at school. Three of them in actual fact. The one I remained in touch with and still have contact with to this day - she lives in the US now. I made no effort to keep up with the others. Not sure why. I think I was so scarred from school that I just wanted a clean break. I have now reconnected with the other two on FB. I have always only used my married name on FB. I actually don't want to be found by anyone that I attended school with.

  9. I was also the type to have just a few close friends in high school, and sadly, we've not had real, meaningful contact for years now. It's strange to think of people who you spent so much time with and shared so many experiences with as just disappearing from your life, but that's exactly what happened.

    I am, however, still quite close with my best friends from college even though we spent fewer years all together and live just as spread out as I do from my HS friends. We don't keep up with each other daily or even monthly, but when we do reconnect it's always very easy to pick up right where we left off.

    Facebook is hard for me. I signed on so I could view some photos that a cousin had posted. I wasn't prepared to be bombarded with friend requests from "friends" I hadn't seen or spoken too in years. I wasn't really sure what to do, so I just accepted every request that came my way. Now I'm wishing I'd been more selective. I know I can go back and remove myself as someone's friend. But I've only done that in a few cases. For the most part, I use FB to keep up with blogger friends, moms from my twin club, and moms in my town. For now, it's working for me.

  10. I still have quite a few friends that I still keep contact with from school. I usually pick on or two up for keeps and the rest are just see-you-when-I-see-you people.

    I attended a 10 year reunion a couple of years ago, and it was so funny...the girls all still looked more or less like they used to but the guys really let themselves go and were hardly recognisable!


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