Sunday, December 18, 2011

She's just not that into you

I've stumbled upon numerous blogs over the years and with some bloggers, I feel an instant connection.

You know what I mean.

It can be over something silly like a love for Seinfeld (seriously, if you love Seinfeld, chances are you and I will be good friends :)) or a really heartfelt post (Claudia writes these all the time so they are too numerous to list, but I do love that one about the islands).

Sometimes it's not even their own blog where we meet but in the comments on another blog.

I remember MandyE commenting here ages ago and saying something like, "I see your name in the comments on a number of blogs we have in common so I thought it's time we met" - I LOVED THAT, and it was true :)

And again with Claudia, I saw a really insightful comment on ONE blog we have in common, went over to meet this cool person, found that we have boy/ girl twins in common, left a comment and that was that.

Anyway, when I feel that connection, I obviously reach out to the person and hope they'll reciprocate.

But what happens when they don't?

Sometimes I leave numerous comments over a week or two but short of saying, "HEY! I think we could be really good blog friends", what can you do when they either ignore you or are saying, "I'm not into you".

I don't really question it too much because I forget, am good at denial and know it's a waste of energy.

I do realise that I've done this to other people too but I promise, it's not from a mean heart. Sometimes a flood of comments arrive on my blog at a really busy time and I just don't have the time to browse, read and leave nice comments back. I do try though.


I can think of at least three bloggers right now who I think will get along really well with me but they're obviously not that into me LOL

What about you?
What do you do when you think you gel with a blogger?
Do they always reciprocate? How do you deal with that?


Here's how I know I've tipped over the crafty edge.

Behold, watches for my children.

I had to occupy them quickly while I was making washi tape notebooks so I took some ribbon (please note pink and blue), used some double-sided tape and attached 1-inch circles to the watch straps.

They were OVER THE MOON!

Poor things - at least they're flexing their creative muscles, right?

They also think my washi tape serves the same function as a plaster (band aid) and when I'm doing anything washi tape, they want a plaster somewhere on their body. This plaster fixation is since I had the gall bladder op when I had four plasters on my tummy :)

This one is Kendra

and this one is Connor.


  1. Love the watches - and I didn't comment on your "fun" the other day...but I am trying to send good vibes your way. Hang in there!

  2. If I'm one of the 3, I assure you I'm totally into you:)
    However, I can hardly find time to blog or comment these days! So, I'm reading along (BTW, that's a LOT of flip flops!) but sorry to be silent so much.
    I also love Sienfeld;)

  3. The watches are pure genius!

    Do you think this is a personality thing? Because being more introverted, I rarely seek out new friends/blogs. I'm more of a if it happens it happens kinda gal. If I stumble upon a new blog, I am definitely a lurker but I rarely go outside my comfort zone.

    I know you can appreciate this: I hate people who comment have their email addresses blocked in their settings. It's times like that, when someone has shown an interest and I can't reciprocate, that I feel almost aggravated at a missed opportunity.

  4. Ooooh honey I am TOTALLY into you!
    I often feel a connection and it isn't reciprocated. I have this with about 2 bloggers at the moment. Honestly? I just move on already. I continue to read their blogs but I don't comment. I do my very best to respond to all comments but sometimes I'm just pressed for time.
    I do love those watches you made for the babies. Seems you have tipped over the crafty edge...

    ps...must tell you I wrapped a small gift today using white paper. I made patterns on it using my bright orange washi tape. Something like this:

  5. I hate when people that I think are pretty cool don't realize I am as awesome as I am.

  6. Those watches is so sweet. Great thinking there :)
    If I reach out to someone and they don't respond in 2 weeks, then I cut them off. I'm not wasting my energy on anyone who does not want to connect.

  7. M, that's a bit too tough for me!

    Maybe because I don't only read blogs to connect, but also to learn and be inspired/ entertained.

  8. I've thought about this a lot, but then I let it go...

    Love those little baby hands.

  9. I'm probably the worst blogger.... I don't get many comments, and read the blogs of those who comment or have some type of connection with them. I also don't blog very often. But I have made some awesome connections - a few when I used to blog a few years ago, one I am still in contact with and met his wife a few years ago when she visited SA. And another more recently who I have contact with outside of blogging now, and I feel has become a really great friend. I try :)...

  10. There are a few blogs I have left comments on but never got any response or feedback from - in cases where I have thought we could get along.... Then I stop commenting as much I guess, continue reading, and sometimes eventually start reading less....

  11. Mmmm...when I have loads of time (especially this time of the year when a lot of my regular reads are off on holidays and not writing) I sometimes trawl some commenst and look for interesting people, during the rest of the year I kind of wait until a new face comments on mine (not because I don't want to go looking, I just really don't have the time).

    As part of my netiquette I follow these rules: if someone new comments on my blog, I ALWAYS follow them back with their link and comment on theirs. It's just polite. I'll find something to comment on even if I have to read three months worth of not-my-thing to find it! If I actually like what they're writing and think that we could have something in common and be friends or that it could be informative or entertaining to me, I add it to my reader and will comment again without them coming to mine first.

    The thing I'm really not good at is updating my links on my blogroll. That sometimes take me 6 months to update from when I first start reading someone until I get round to updating my links. It doesn't bug me that much though since I figure they'd prefer a comment above a link if I only have 10 minutes online time?

  12. arg. i'm totally late to this!!

    i want to be good bloggy friends. i swear!! i am just sooo bad this semester. i open my reader and get so overwhelmed with the number of posts. so...i'll read them on my phone and then never get back to commenting.

    in the past, which seems like a lifetime ago, i would read and comment if we seemed to gel, if their blog was interesting, if they loved to organize and create lists ;) you know, the usual!

    i'm worse with letting it go, though. there are a few blogs that i commented regularly on who never acknowledged me...and i wanted to bloggy break up with them, but they're too good. :)

    and i LOVE those watches!!

  13. Oh dear. I hope I'm not one of the three. As you can see, I'm horrible about keeping up. But it's not you, it's me! And I always catch up eventually.

    Still, I know exactly what you mean. I feel like commenting should be a somewhat reciprocal thing. When I first started blogging there were a handful of blogs that I commented on pretty regularly where the writers never EVER wrote back or commented on my blog. Not once.

    I still have one of those blogs in my reader. I just love the blog so much, I can't give it up. But now I never comment there. I just read it for myself. Even when I really feel like I want to leave a comment, I don't. It just seems like it would be a waste of my time.

    But I do think, as you've mentioned here, when the connection is right, the friendship forms without effort. I've recently turned off comments on my posts (mostly to help me stay focused on my content and not so much on getting comments), but I love that some of my best blogger friends still keep up with my posts and comment via FB or through emails. The extra effort really means a lot to me. :o)

  14. Okay, HOW ironic is it that I only just got around to commenting on this?

    I know the feeling you mean. I have had quite a few bloggers where I feel 'hey! We could be friends!' and I feel like they ignore me. (Cue thirteen-year-old insecurity).

    But... I also find that I guess I do it with new readers too, now, and I HATE it. Now that my kids are older, and work is busier, I get SO SO SO much less time to be on the internet. I really want to check in on the everybody's blog - especially people I don't know very well / people who have reached out to me on my blog, and encourage them... but I can't. physically. do. it. I don't have the time to do that AND eat and sleep. And I feel like if I acknowledge it, I'm saying 'I'm too popular to bother' which is NOT the way things are at ALL. Even though I only blog once a week or so, I still can't manage to keep up - actually, maybe that's part of it -I only blog about a quarter as often as everybody else! So I have a hard time keeping on top of blogs where people post more regularly.

    But I feel really guilty about it. And I don't really have a solution.


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