|my card and friendship bracelet from Rachel - yes, I squealed like a teenager when I got it :)|
I took a really deep beath and had to be really brave when I blogged that I needed friends.
Because nobody ever says, "I really would like more friends" or "I wish I had a special friend".
Until Rachel in MWF Seeking BFF.
When I stumbled upon her blog I was attracted to this well-adjusted girl who was going around OPENLY admitting she didn't have it all figured out in the friend department.
I love that about her.
That she knew this about herself and was brave enough to put it out there.
And if you spend some time on the blog, you'll see lots and lots of women admitting the same thing.
And here I thought I was weird and was the only one who felt that way.
In the book she talks about some formula (and I'm way too lazy to go fetch my Kindle and look through the highlights) by which you calculate your "maximum happy number of friends".
Anyway, this number is 150 social connections.
She did the calculation and it showed that she had space for 20 friends.
Interestingly, I work with a guy (we mentor other people) who said on a course we went on that he only has space for 6 friends in his life at any one time so he doesn't even bother trying to be friendly with more people.
Yes, I was horrified!
There's a kernel of truth because imagine if we just hung onto all our friends from primary school (grade school) and kept gathering and gathering people? I would think the relationships could all only ever be at quite a superficial level.
It's like that fact I learned at a networking course in 2010. I feel I need to put the date because it's obviously changed by now, 18 months later. People have on average 64 friends on FB and only connect and talk to 6 of them. That ratio felt right to me then and still does now.
Of course I'm way too lazy to calculate anything except real money :) BUT I do know I have space for friends.
If you read that post I linked to up at the top, you'll see I took a more passive route to my search for friends early last year (praying and waiting) and then I like to think I ramped it up towards the end of the year by getting off my butt and actually meeting 3 blog friends in person.
It paid off for me because God indeed deepened three friendships, another three got worse (and I don't hurt about them although I should, if that makes any sense) and He brought a wonderful, new friend into my life.
This is besides the blog friends I met in person so all in all a fabulous year, friend-wise.
But over to you.
Have you ever admitted that you need or want more friends?
How many do you think you can handle comfortably?