Thursday, February 02, 2012

Today really threw me

my favourite mugs. I have 4 like these out and even bought some spare in case these break :)

I made that printable for a client late last year and thought, "actually that's something I should also have on my desk"
Today I went on a workshop.

I was a last-minute addition as in early this week I got the invite.

I tried to see if there was another like this scheduled for later this year but there wasn't. And since I really believed it would be valuable, I declined two other meetings (one a strat) to attend.

Well, I had the most awful time.

When I arrived I was shown to a table for "observers" which I thought was weird and then I twigged - because I was last minute they'd squeezed me in, but not properly, so I was getting the benefit of the training but couldn't participate.

Right off the bat the trainer said something like "we'll pretend you're not here" to me and the two other girls. Those two other girls were from the area organising the workshop so it made sense for them to be observers but not me.

My back was to the front because of the angled desks and after about 5 minutes I moved to the back of the room so I could see the screen properly without twisting my neck.

The training then officially started.

The trainer again did some introductory remarks and said to ignore the observers because we were not there.

But I was.

Gosh, I felt so invisible and uncomfortable, I can't even explain it properly.

And then there was a remark from one delegate.

I can't even remember the words (see? I did my famous blocking out thing) but I do remember saying, "now J, that was just ugly" and some people laughed.

But I really felt excluded.

At that point if I'd have been dressed in work clothes I'd have packed up and gone to my meetings but I was in cutoff jeans and flip flops (we dress casual for training, and it's 33 degrees celsius).

I do believe it's better to make no impression than a bad one so there's no way I would have pitched up to an important meeting with lots of senior management looking like that.

Anyway, at one point I forgot about being an observer and blurted out an answer which was right and she said, "that's right but we can't hear you" so I nearly DIED.

But then I shut up and ignored the room rules and actually took out my iPad to do some work and read blogs. Amidst the training, of course.

I really had a horrible day - I can't believe how much it affected me not to talk or interact or be heard or acknowledged.

It's incredible.

Yes, I'm an extrovert but I also have a lot to add.

Trainers often say to me how they enjoy when I'm in sessions because I add a lot of value because I participate, I encourage, I joke, I talk!

Can anyone relate?

Has something like this happened to any of you?

Of course I was in quite the foul mood by the time 4 pm rolled around and when I got home, I organised my entire pantry, the kids' toys (apparently I'm the only one who cares that sets of things are stored together), baked some cookies and took gorgeous fuzzy background pics of them (a la food bloggers :))

So at least there's that.

How was your Thursday?
PS I had a call from a tv producer today seeing if I'm interested in doing some organising segments for them - some to be shot live and some pre-recorded. These things don't always pan out so I'm not even getting remotely excited. Of course I was still super grumpy so had to bring my A game and get "on" within seconds. My personal rule is when the media contact you, you say yes. Always. No matter how you feel :)
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  1. Pretending you're not there? That's ridiculous! Announcing it, that's embarrassing and unnecessary. I'm not sure why you stayed after they first told you "you're not here" because I would have gladly went about my day!

    I can relate feeling very under valued at work, hence me finally deciding to quite. Of course that was Sunday and by Wednesday I was suddenly very important and wanted when they fired THE ONLY OTHER PERSON that can do my job. Grrrrreat!

    Thursday is only half over here and booooy has it been rough!

  2. Sjoe. That wasn't nice. Even if you were an observer they could at least have been open to your input. At least the ipad came in handy?
    Love the pics of your cup. And I'm holding thumbs that the TV thing works out for you!
    Oh, and I battled to work today. Couldn't stop day dreaming and making lists. Think I peaked too early this week with the productivity. Have LOADS of catch up to do tomorrow.

  3. ps...I would TOTALLY have left. Even if it meant having to go home to change.

  4. So sorry you had such a frustrating experience. There's no way I would have gotten anything out of that session, either...particularly - as MandyH said - with the overt way you were labeled...and then CALLED OUT. :/

    My Thursday is going well! :) I posted today...this no-baby gate transition is TIRING! I was ready to get out of the house!

    I emailed a couple of friends mid-morning to see if they wanted to meet for an impromptu lunch. Aunt Karen was available, and it was so nice to get out! The girls behaved pretty well...and the food was the yummiest. :) The girls are napping now (HOORAY!), and it is GORGEOUS here. We'll definitely be spending time outside this afternoon. Ahhhh...

    Glad you had some productive time this afternoon at least! :) Oh, and I love those mugs! I can just imagine the feel of that handle. :) :)

  5. Oh my goodness. That's just plain rude! I would have left. Loudly. In the middle of something important that person said (because after all if you are not there you couldn't disturb others...). In fact you should have just hauled out your phone and loudly discussed something with somebody (maybe even telling them about the rude people in the conference). Because after all you weren't there and they "couldn't hear you".

    Sorry wrong day for me to be commenting on this :-). Am not in the most tolerant mood today...

  6. That just seems unessarily mean to me. Why let someone attend if you don't plan for them to participate.

    Shame on them!

  7. That seems totally stupid and out of line to me. I wold have a small freak-out right ther

  8. I had the precise mugs but both of them broke and I miss them so much :(
    I'm so sorry that you had such an awful time.

  9. Ugh...that's terrible!

    Glad you made productive use of the time catching up on blogs. : ) Aren't you loving the ipad??

    Hope your Friday was better!

  10. wow..maybe that can give us some perspective into how the marginalized in our society feel.

  11. Flip...why invite you when they aren't going to acknowledge your existence. I think it is just plain rude and I would have gone home.

  12. That sounds like an awful class to say that you were not there. Every class I'm in I'm always very participative, so I'd have a hard time being quiet too!

    And yes, I like sets of the boys' toys to be together too. I need to do that tonight.

  13. that sounds horrible! you poor thing!

  14. Ugh...that sucks. I feel for ya. I love to participate in things too.


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