Thursday, March 29, 2012

Toddler talkfest, pretend play and NO!

This is what my house looks like before we tidy up
That's Friday in his hospital bed
The stickers are  actually plasters - Connor remembers my gall bladder op when I had 4 cuts with plasters on my tummy
Yesterday morning Connor was in my bed while I got ready for work.

Connor Mummy, look - birds up HIGH.

I look - sure enough, the birds are on a lamp pole

Connor Birds climb down with a ladder? (he's fascinated by ladders)

Me  No baby, birds have wings and they'll fly away

Connor Mummy, angels also have wings?

Me (pleased as punch) - Yessss, Connor, what a clever boy. Angels DO have wings.

Connor - Trees also have wings?

Me - errr. no :)
*sigh* :)

Of course these days Kendra runs around the house saying, "MUMMY, KENDRA WANTS TO PEE. NOW!" (just like that in caps) all the time and yes, we do move our bums to avoid spillages....

(remember I am still not a fan of any bodily fluids despite what everybody told me pre-kids)

But I am nothing if not lazy, so I've taught her to get herself to the loo and take off her own clothes.


Now, a question for you. Aside from the cute talking, there's also the trying my patience talking. I'm going to tell you something - the "no"s are about killing me.

I have a hot button for little children saying no to me. It sends me right over the edge and I'm doing LOTS of deep breaths these days.

Even D is losing it (very rare!!!).

Have you had lots of NO in your house? How do you deal with it? We need some tips!


  1. No advice on the "no's"...we do a lot of ignoring in my house. : )

    Love the toddler talk and K's urgency about the bathroom. I quickly taught my girls to pull down their pants, etc., and I LOVE when I can send them in to accomplish a bathroom break all on their own. Efficiency, right??

  2. Bahahahaha! DO I have have a lot of "No's" in my house!? Oh yes, I do. I have three children of my own- 7, 5, and 2 plus I babysit two more children- 20 months old. There is TONS of "No!" "Mine" and just random screaming from the "babies". The just attitude from the older two.

  3. Awww....he IS a clever boy! Love the pretend-play pics. No help with the "no" issue. Lance just gives Joel "the look" and then his face starts to crumple and he begrudgingly (VERY SADLY and all victim-like) does what he is meant to do. It doesn't seem to work when I do that. He is still defiant when I do "the look" so I really just force the issue. For example, if I say "Joel, pick up your shoes" and he says NO, then I MAKE him pick up his shoes so he can see I mean business. He is really quite sad when this happens. He goes and tattles and cries long tears by his Daddy and says..."Julia fighting" - all dramatic and so on. If you do find something that works well then please share it.

  4. Ha! I love hearing their minds build connections!

    While we don't have many "no's" outright, it's usually a "I no yike (Like)" or something along those lines. They have learned to turn the situation around though. Usually taking what I said off the table and replacing it with what they want, "We do ____, okay? Sounds good? Okay mommy!!" And they say it with such enthusiasm that I can't help but laugh and feel like a total meanie when we do whatever I've said to begin with. They're trying to beat me at my own game!

  5. I can also say that from the beginning I have very consciously tried to not say no, instead making it more positive. Instead of no jumping, it's we keep our bottoms on the sofa-things like that.

  6. As much as it incenses me, I try not to let the "no" get under my skin. If the girls disobey, they get "counted" [via 1-2-3 Magic], and I do the same with a disrespectful "no". I try hard not to take it personally...they're just testing their boundaries. I do my best to treat it like they messed with the blinds or open a cabinet...just another offense.

    I do talk to them about the concept of "respect" sometimes. I know that's a big concept, though.

    My friend uses the term "happy heart", and I use that occasionally, too. For example, her kiddos were fussing when they were leaving our house a few weeks ago, after a fun play date. Jenny said, "I know you've had a great time and you're sad to leave, but let's leave with a happy heart." I see it as a combination of grace and respect, maybe.

    I think this is just part of it, Marcia!

  7. I can't remember that we had lots of "no" in my house from my kids. I did have lots of "because I'm the Mommy and one day when you are the mommy you get to make all the rules"

  8. Ah! The no's - got to love them.

    My moms and baby teacher would say "WELL DONE it's a milestone" :) And I think it is.

    Not easy to deal with but remember they are toddlers, you are the adult and they still don't understand the word NO in the way you do :) Patience, boundaries and love - you will get there.

    I am not sure why they are saying no but a good way to deal with it is to offer them 2 choices - so they can eat/wear/sit x or y - THEY must choose.

  9. If you come up with a solution for No please let me know. My little one can not talk yet but can say No very well. But it is not just one no. It is "no,no,no,no" Always 4. YIKES.

    So what do I do? It depends on the situation. I also want her to feel confident and that she is allowed to and has the power to say no, but if it is a direct instruction and not a question then I will make her do it anyway. Like pick up her shoes or something.

  10. We have had very much "No's" before and they are still there. It seems they are getting worse the older the kids get, so it's not that they are going to go away any time soon :(
    We also get hot headed when our children say no because in a sense, this is back talk. This is not something we want.
    So we do punish them for that, saying "no". Whatever thing we might think will hurt, like deducting time of computer playing and things like that. You have smaller children, so perhaps Time Outs?

  11. Funny enough we do not have many No's in our house. We very sternly oppose them saying no but we do use no a lot, but always with an explanation. Now I am wondering if that helps? FOr instance, they would ask for sweets before dinner. I would say "No" - and the Princess will already fill in with "First healthy food, then sweeties" because that would be my standard explanation.

  12. I get the no no no often too...drives me batty. If you find an easy way around it clue me in?

  13. Wrote a nice long reply ... but my mouse seems to have a mind of it's own and ate the entire answer.

    I found this book to be very helpful in dealing with the developing personalities of my kids....

    Maybe I'll have time tomorrow or the next day to try to type it all in again.


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