Saturday, April 14, 2012

Parenting fail - my plan backfired

My Saturday morning routines have changed over the last 3 Saturdays.

You see, I joined Weigh-Less. Yes, that's a topic for another post because I still weigh exactly the same, two weeks later.

Moving on.

So these days D & I dress the babies and then I leave him to feed them breakfast while I quickly drive 2 km down the road, go get weighed, text Julia and then I drive back home.

I then rush in, collect Connor and off we go to gym. At 8:45 for a 9:00 class.

I'm not sure what you're like but I really hate nagging my kids.

Connor, do this. Connor, come here. Connor, that's 1... It's exhausting and all I think about is Charlie Brown and how his teacher's voice just went wah wah wah.

As an aside, doesn't Connor look like Charlie Brown? We've always thought so and one very fine day I will throw the two of them a Charlie Brown and Lucy party :)

We need to get hardcore with the 123 magic again but I've been putting it off because it is just So Loud when we get to 3 and he goes into time-out.

But I'm getting there...

So this morning, I rushed out to Weigh-Less, told Nanny S who came to work for a few hours this morning (we were supposed to have a friend for brunch but it got cancelled) to have Connor ready at 8:45 and off I went.

Well, the WL lady had to try and encourage me a bit (she feels bad I haven't lost any weight) so I was a little later than 8:45.

I walked in and Connor is still in his high chair eating fruit.

That means he is at least 5 minutes from ready - finishing, wiping hands and mouth, brushing teeth, (usually) wiping a spill or two off jeans and then getting him strapped in the car.

I start rushing them but both S and Connor just took their own time.

Then I said in a very scary fake calm voice, "Connor, I am leaving in a minute. Get your hands wiped NOW otherwise I'm leaving you here"

He carries on (and so does she, waiting for him) doing his own thing, chattering away.

I count 1, 2, (no sign of movement) 3, turn around and walk out of the house.

And off I went to gym without him.

I thought he was freaking out and throwing a tantrum because I left him so thought, "should I go back?"

Then, "no!!! he's got to learn I mean business when I speak".

All the way home I was preparing my speech (you all know I like to give little talks to the kids).

Well, I arrived home, said to S, "did Connor freak out when he saw I left him?"

She says, "no, all he said was, "Connor not going to gym today with Mummy? Okay, Connor stay with S and Kendra".

And that was that.

Parenting FAIL!

Are you hardcore with your kids? Or do you nag and nag? Or do you have kids that actually listen? 

If you're in the 3rd category, please share your tips!!!


  1. Kids who actually listen? Does anyone even know what that is!?

  2. Gotta say Conner was the grown up!!! Yes he was late and messing around, he suffered the consequences graciously (too graciously really!!!) but he didn't fall a part and throw a fit. He knew he wasn't listening, and he let it go when he lost out. Parenting rule #1:- Never threaten a threat you don't want to follow up on!!! It's like your kids so know when you are doing that… they know, I am sure the words hang out in the air with flags on them!!! Hope your Sunday is a much better day!!!

  3. I wouldn't say it was a fail at all. It was consequences that he understood, that means you did your job right! Kudos to you!!

    As for listening, enh, it's over rated. ;)

    The girls are pretty good following commands, but there are those times when I make it to three and all hell breaks loose. I feel bad because it is Emma 97.423 % of time and I worry that she'll think I favor Claire because of it.

  4. Oh, no! I hate it when the girls' currency (to use a Dr. Phil term!) shifts.

    I don't know if it's too late at this point, but I would still have a talk, I think...tell him you missed him, and that you're disappointed he didn't honor the plans you made to go together. Even if it wasn't a big deal to him, I think he still needs to understand his behavior / lack of response is not in line with your expectations.

    I SO try to hold the line...but I find myself counting to 1 and 2 much more easily than I hit 3. I HATE time-out as much as the girls, sometimes! ;)

  5. I have kids who listen because I'm hard core :-). I probably nag a lot and I have very little patience.

  6. I am hardcore with Child1 because he NEEDS firm and hardcore. It works well for us. However, I battle to be harcore with Child2 because of our communication and other barriers. So I cave with him. A lot. However, Lance is SUPER HARDCORE with BOTH kids and interestingly enough, more so with Child2 than with Child1.
    Must say, Connor is very mature. Even though he didn't communicate it properly, he obviously understood what was happening and accepted it graciously. What a boy!

  7. I dont think it was a fail - he learnt the consequences of his actions. You said get ready, he didn't, you left!

    The fact he wasn't upset meant he didn't want to go to gym and was happy to choose to stay at home!

    I think it was a WIN to be honest.

    I don't nag but they don't listen. If they leave it at home - they deal with the punishment etc etc.

  8. I warn N once along the lines of do this and that will happen...then I follow through. Now when I threaten with something she freaks out like it's already happened. Right now what works better is asking her to "come help me" with something. She gets very excited about that. ;-)

  9. katherine7:45 pm

    Eek. I'm afraid I really think that children of that age have no concept of time. Zoe at 5 is still pretty unaware of what time actually means. 5 minutes could very easily mean 5 hours to her and she's 5 not 2. If you need to be somewhere then I feel you needed to help him get ready to go (he is almost 3 but still only 2 years old). I hate being late and so have to stop myself from hurrying the girls because they've got the rest of their lives to rush and if there's no reason to rush then why get myself and them stressed out? You did say that you were late getting home. I would find it extremely hard if I worked all week to miss out on a little 1-on-1 time with my child. Do they lock the door of the class or can you still go in a few minutes late? The fact that he wasn't even upset would actually break my heart. Sorry that may sound harsh but I have recently spent some time with teenagers who just want to spend time with their friends/be on their own,etc and it made me realise again just how precious the time is with our kids when they are small.
    Rush my kids on a Saturday morning? No ways. Follow through with a threat, absolutely 100% right but I think if I'd seen that the nanny wasn't helping him to get ready fast enough I would have helped him a bit.

  10. Nope, no fail here because he knew and faced the cosequences. I am mostly quite strict but sometimes L just can not be rushed, you can not get things into his head. So you have to adapt. This morning getting ready for church was so not great - a lot of nagging by me, a lot of defiance by both boys.


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