Friday, July 13, 2012

{Friendship Friday} Is she blowing me off?

Do you remember this post where I spoke about spontaneity?

Number 5 on that list is a particular friend. We've been friends for 12 years, since I started working at my previous company.

We were work friends for a few months until an awards dinner where the husbands also met and liked each other (you know how key that is for couple dates!) and from then we'd have couple socials.

Here's what I wrote in that other post:

I am desperately trying to arrange a lunch with a set of couple friends.
They are the most highly structured people I know and do not like things to mess with plans :) It's actually funny because I'm sure people see me like that but oh, I am a 2 on the scale next to her 10.

We haven't seen them since November and we had a plan on a weekend in April but their house move was shifted so that messed everything up.
We tried for May and June and now she's emailed me for July (when I'm away) so I said eventually, "okay, this is getting ridiculous. Let's change something because otherwise it's never going to happen". I suspect we'll have to move our normal plan to a Friday night (um, no) or a Sunday after church because the Saturdays are just not on.
So now she told me that there is one date in September they're available. One date.

Even after we've looked at Sundays.... because they go biking on Sundays.

I've since gone back to her and said what about Fridays? Even though I really don't mess with the kids' bedtime, I thought, "fine, one Friday night won't kill us".

No answer yet, after 3 days....

My thing is - why can't they be just a little bit flexible? We're the ones with kids!

So I'm wondering if they're gone off us and this inflexibility and rigidity is their way of saying it but also not saying it?

Thing is... this kind of thing will work well with other people but I have a problem letting go.

What do you think?

What would you do?

And because I can't end a post without a proper pic (!), pics of my little friend. This little one is always game to be silly with me - I love it.

"Kendra, let's make our funny faces"


  1. Marcia...let it go...friendship should not be that much work. From what I read aboue, you are just no that important to her..sorry

  2. This is a tough one cos at the heart of it, it sounds like they are blowing you off. For whatever reason it just sounds off to me. If the friendship means a lot to you I would confront her with your suspicions and see what happens. Either way you'll be in a place to move forward (either let the friendship go or fix whatevers bugging them).

    I have found that focusing my energies on friendships that are give and take has been much more beneficial on my life of late and as hard as it is, if you have to work THAT hard all the time to get it going it might be one to let go in the end.


  3. Lesley2:46 pm

    i would just step back a bit from it, dont even wonder at what it may mean (easier said than done, i know). Dont get involved in planning
    more dates, just leave it and see what happens.
    People make time and effort for those they want to see - see if she does.
    Hope it goes well.

  4. I agree with everyone else. It shouldn't be so difficult to make a date to meet up with friends and loved ones. Maybe some of us are just more flexible than others.

    That said if you feel strongly about it though I'll try to find out maybe they are going through a rough patch and this is their way of keeping things close to their chest.

    Or maybe it's just time to lick your wounds and agree ' they are just not into you' SORRY.

    Thanks for including the funny photos. Really nice!!! Like mama like daughter

  5. Sounds almost like my "friend" who I blogged about a few months ago. Remember I blogged about the one who bails on me at the last minute after making all these flimsy excuses. I actually got a text from her last week AND this week on my b-day. Mmmm...I think she's single again - suddenly she wants to get together. Eish. We'll see. My feeling is that this shouldn't be such hard work. ESPECIALLY since you are the ones with the kids. Maybe it's time to take a step back and take it as it comes. Based on what you are saying here, if it was me then I would back off and possibly let it go.
    I know it sucks.
    Good luck.

  6. I'm sorry to say but it sounds like that's exactly what she's doing. Just let it go Marcia, and see if there is any initiative from her side. Give it a D-date and if you haven't heard from her by it let it go completely.

  7. Oh those pics are cute. Jip, I am wondering too - it just sounds "too many" - reasons, excuzes, etc.


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