Thursday, October 11, 2012

My kids think sleep is for the weak

This is week 3 of a new sleep situation we find ourselves in.

Before the current situation, my kids would get their bedtime stories, we'd pray and say I love yous , kiss/ hug and then put out the light.

They'd chit-chat to one another for about 30 minutes or so but then fall asleep nicely.

We didn't know how blessed we were!!!

I think I like sleeping pics of kids even more these days :)

The new situation is this - they come out of bed a million times (or it feels like that anyway) with a myriad of excuses:
  1. I want to pee
  2. I want to poo
  3. I want some water
  4. I didn't get a hug and a kiss (this is a blatant lie) - last night when giving hugs and kisses, I said, "Babies, focus. Stay in the moment and remember that I am kissing and hugging you because I don't want you to tell me later that you want a hug and a kiss" (if you guessed that didn't work, you would be right. however, this morning Kendra said to me "I must be present and remember the hug and kiss?" and I said "yes!" so something is sticking...)
  5. I forgot to tell you something
The first couple of nights it was kind-of okay but then we twigged that they were all excuses. We even started putting a timer in the bathroom so they could do their business quickly :)

Now I just say, "pee and poo in your nappy" because of course they don't actually have to pee and poo.

We've put "stay in your bed" on the star charts and they've both not got stars for this for the last two weeks (Kendra stayed in for one night).

napping one Sunday afternoon in July - I'm behind with pics...

So this is madness because it impacts my "nice mother" personality and more importantly, my work time.

Sending them back to bed a million times means they finally go sleep at round about 9 pm which means I only start properly focussing then which means I've gone to bed at 12.30 am for the last two weeks.

Which is not acceptable.

I'm behind on lots of stuff because I'm no spring chicken and I also need my sleep. Never mind beauty sleep!

They didn't nap for 3 days and I've found it doesn't make them super tired and make them collapse into bed immediately. Instead, they're crabby and cry at the drop of a hat, and I start shouting more at the silliness.

Which I really don't like (see Nice Mother reference above). I like it all twin romancey with bedtime a lovely time of prayers and peace.

Ha!

I do believe these detail pics are my favourites. I have hundreds of pics of the little details I want to remember.
So yesterday I told Nanny S to feed them promptly at 8 am, nothing in the morning for a snack, and then feed them an early lunch and let them sleep but wake them at 2 pm.

Yesterday was trying.... today we carry on.

They clearly still need sleep because they are SUPER cranky without it. But I can't have this jumping around the house til 9 pm going on.

Have you had this situation? What did you do? What time do your kids go to bed? More importantly, do they stay there?

PS last night we brought out the big guns. D read "Sleeping in a big bed" a lovely book about Ruby who doesn't want to stay in bed (Fascination Books), and a new book "Nighty-night" which is HILARIOUS about Little-saurus who does exactly what my twins do. One double spread is about all the excuses and I laughed and laughed, and then said, "now who does that sound like?" They both said, "we don't know" all innocent. Good thing they're cute!

14 comments:

  1. Since we've potty trained the girls we've had this. A LOT! They're still in their cribs, but they fuss and whine every two seconds that they need to go potty. Even though they just went 3 seconds ago. ARGH! And, I was chuckling/commiserating with you when I read the whole "one more kiss and hug" or the "need a drink of water" or the "I need to tell you something"----we have all that too. Could I also add "I need a bandaid, because my finger hurts"?? Yeah, they added that one to their little repertoire last night. Makes.Me.Crazy!

    We've backed up when we start the bedtime routine to allow for some of the shenanigans. We've also stopped letting them out of bed to use the potty. They're warned that they have one last chance to try, and then that's it. So that's been better, but they certainly do know how to stall.

    I don't have any good solutions for you, other than to say back up when you start the bedtime routine. I really treasure my time in the evenings too! Chance to hang w/ the hubby, get things done, have some peace. It's frustrating to be running back and forth to their rooms 389 times. :)

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  2. Oh those books should help I think - but read them every night. Ours are allowed to get in bed with a book and then they can "read" it but they MUST stay in bed. It took a but of time, but it works

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  3. I haven't had much of this issue (KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!)...but remember my girls are 12 and are still in cribs. ;)

    We did have some up and down just after the girls were potty-trained. I started telling them at bedtime, "Make sure you get everything out now, because this is your last opportunity to potty before morning." Of course I will take them to the potty at night if they have to go, but that really, really cut down on our issues.

    I also talked about it being disrespectful to call out to Mommy. "It's sleep time for everyone. You need your rest; Mommy needs her rest."

    And lastly, if the girls call me, once I make sure nothing is wrong, I very firmly tell them, "It's sleep time. Lie down, close your eyes, and go to sleep. Call me in the morning when your clock is green."

    KNOCK ON WOOD AGAIN (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), those things seem to have helped at our house.

    Good luck, Marcia! I understand how hard it can be to maintain "Nice Mommy" when the babes aren't behaving! :/

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  4. Rue goes down sometime between 10:30 and 11:30 most nights. I tend to let her sleep the next day ... so she gets up between 9:30 and Noon. She hasn't napped in over a year.

    Solutions ... obviously, I don't have one.

    We are in serious need of revamping the bedtime and rising routines.

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  5. My twins have been only been going to sleep between 8:30pm and 9pm for ages now. And this is with us lying with them! Madam also likes to use the excuse of wanting to go to the loo. Lying with them helps them to stay in their beds. But is it exhausting! I have alomost fallen asleep a few times while lying with S. So I am a walking zombie a lot of the time!
    I also find they are very irritable in the avie if they don't sleep during the day, so they do need that sleep.
    I have basically accepted that this is hopefully a stage, and it will pass!

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  6. I have no words of wisdom for you eithet, I'm afraid. Nicola goes down at about 21:00 too, but only if I'm sleeping as well. So I go to bed early, and if I want to do something I get up early and do it then. She did the "I want to pee" a thousand times in a row thing a couple of times, but she did manage to actually make a pee at least every second time! No idea where she got all the amo, she must have been saving up the whole day. Eventually I just left the bathroom light on and told her to go by herself then and went to bed. No company to go along and she quickly abondoned that excuse.

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  7. It's a stage and some get over it quick where others take a little while longer. But kids do get over this stage most definitely, just be patient.

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  8. Jack is still in a camp cot but he does chat to Cameron for ages some nights.

    Cameron didn't really do this much - he would call me a lot for silly things. Getting Kiara to sleep until she was about 5/6 was a challenge. It was no fun at all - I just rode it out because after trying everything I had no energy left.

    Jack gets put down at 7 when the big kids get into bed but like I said he chats to Cameron for ages - the latest is around 8 though.

    He has actually also started skipping his afternoon nap and some days he is fine and copes well but other days from about 4 he gets whiny and miserable. On those days I bath him, feed him and put him to bed - even if it is 6h00!!

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  9. Lesley11:17 am

    If this was me i wouldn't be so nice : ) Don't shoot me please,lol.
    If this had been happening for a bit I would do all the lovely stuff stories,prayers,kisses and make it clear there was to be no getting out of bed till morning. I would tell them they need their sleep and mummy and daddy need their time and if they did get out of bed (to ask for the things you mentioned) then there would be a consequence (something that you know they would not like e.g no T.V for that day, or no 'nice' thing). If they do get out then, you will have to carry out what you said you will do. This is what i would do, maybe its not to everyone's taste though. x

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  10. Anonymous11:24 am

    I am so glad to hear I am not the only one going through this. Justin is in a bed and we spend three hours every night putting him back in bed (accompanied by tantrums and screaming and running away etc). Its exhausting and then you never have an evening of your own to enjoy. I am at my wits end and my husband and I are at each otshers throats too beacuse of it. No real quick fixes in the comments, only to hang on to the hope that its a phase and will pass....hopefully soon!!

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  11. LOL...your kids would be right. Sleep IS for the weak. I would LOVE to be able to get away with 4 or so hours per night. Gosh, it would work really well for my night-owl tendencies.

    We usually do a toilet routine BEFORE bed and BEFORE we put on a nappy – not sure if this will help.

    Our problem is that Joel doesn’t go to bed alone. But once his brother is in bed then he stays there. There have been one or two occasions where he wanted to walk around or watch TV or whatever but Lance is HARDCORE with him so he doesn’t easily take a chance.

    I must admit that when Lance is not home in the evenings then I do give in and allow him to snuggle with me on the couch, or he will lie in my bed while I’m on the computer. Honestly? I think he misses me. Last night I went out and when I got back (around 20:30) he ran out of bed to come and say hi. Then he wouldn’t go back to bed until he had a bit of a snuggle with me.

    Am not sure what you are going to do but I would say that perhaps try to determine what is really going on. Are they just being naughty? Are they missing you? Do they want to play WITH YOU? Maybe they want you to read to them instead of Dion? Could you and Dion swop the bedtime routine so that he cooks and you do the other stuff?

    It’s a tough one – but at some point, this too shall pass.

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  12. Oh, I know... this is so aggravating... but your title made me burst out laughing. Because clearly that is what they must think. Both of mine, ages SIX and NINE, both woke up at different times on the same night last week -- one to go to the bathroom, the other because she was cold, and both insisted that I wake up and acknowledge each of the situations that woke them up. Then yesterday morning my six year old woke up at five, and roused the whole household, then went back to sleep, leaving me wide awake and in desperate search for a good cup of coffee.

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  13. Ha Ha hA ha!!! If only they know that sleep is key and many adults wish they could sleep longer/more. Did anything change in your routine or theirs?

    Hope everything gets back to normal very soon

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  14. our kids get up around 7am, then go down for nap between 1230 and 1pm. my general rule now is that we wake them up at 3pm. we head up for our bedtime routine at 6:45ish. we are generally back downstairs by 7:30 and the kids fall asleep anywhere between 7;30 and 8:30. Mostly, they're quiet...but they are also trapped. we're still in cribs over here :) B wants to put them into toddler beds, but i'm totally freaked out about that. i actually bring up Mandy E as an example of how you CAN have older kids in cribs still :)

    i find that i really just have to think to myself that i don't have to yell about everything. i *can* be nice mommy. it was especially helpful to have the kids reinact my behavior. seeing what THEY saw was eye-opening. ....so i've tried to be better in that department.

    good luck! :) xx

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