Friday, November 16, 2012

{Friendship Friday} I've been a less-than-stellar friend

Well, dear hearts, let me scare the pants off you -

there are only 6 more Fridays left in 2012.

How's that for scary?!

I really don't want to continue with FF on a continual basis next year, more on an infrequent or maybe monthly basis so after tonight, I'm going to plan (yes, boring!) the last 6 posts and that will mostly be that.

So, that said, PLEASE send me the topics you want to discuss and let me see if I can get organised to put up a list (!) of topics for the rest of the year.

I've been the recipient of some really good friend actions this week:
  • a lovely email from a friend checking on me after that I'm-not-so-awesome post
  • a lovely lunch with Louisa
  • some more lovely emails from yet another friend and last but not least...
  • two friends going out of their way to get my new iphone to me (I will relax a bit more once friend 1 delivers to friend 2, who is an ex-boss...)

And then the part where I stuff up.

1. My one friend had her kids' birthday party last weekend and somehow in my head, that got filed as "done". I only realised today (two days after the birthday) that the actual birthday passed without so much as an SMS, Facebook "like" or little note on the wall, let alone a phone call from me. I'm mortified!

Tonight I told the kids we forgot to phone them and said, "I think we'll have to phone them tomorrow". Kendra says, "that's a good idea" :)

I think so too.

2. Another friend has been writing me lovely LONG emails and I just don't have the time to answer from work so I try to catch up from the ipad quickly in the mornings.

Big mistake.

I am useless without a proper keyboard and the ipad can't quite convey all the nuances of conversation, etc. so I'm afraid I was a bit short and I think I hurt her feelings a little bit.

Fortunately she asked me to clarify and I think I did... but of course, still not in full technicolour. The lack of time thing.

I hope I didn't put you off your lovely idea, friend :)

It's no excuse but I fully realise I'm way too busy but for once, it's not self-induced; it's both a time of year thing, and a time of year in my team thing.

I worked until 5:15 today (that's late for a Friday in my industry....) making lists, blocking out time to work, setting up meetings, printing next week's priorities, etc, etc. so I can hit the ground running on Monday morning.

But enough about me.

Have you forgotten any birthdays recently?
What do you think? Should I rather not respond than respond quickly?

PS Nanny S's daughter's birthday happens this week. I better finish wrapping up her present this weekend and put reminders everywhere :)
PPS if you've been offended by the shortness of my emails/ comments, please know that it's not intentional - I just really have no time at work. Am actually thinking of only getting my personal emails at home again. I only get about 5% of my personal email at work (I've been unsubscribing and whittling down) but still the ignored 5% starts adding up.


  1. I often forget important dates and birthdays. I think people are getting used to my porridge brain...I am worse at this time of the year.

  2. I can be pretty rotten. :(

    My intentions are usually good...but it's sometimes with the people whom I want to honor the most that I fall way short.

    If I really want to put time and thought into an email / comment / letter, in my mind I think that I need to sit down and focus in order to do that. And that's often hard to do. So too much time passes...and I haven't said anything. And then I feel rotten.

    That's actually something I want to explore in my Happiness Project next year...correspondence.

    One immediate example is your "not-so-awesome" post. I didn't want to quickly type, "Marcia, you are awesome!" and leave it at that [although that would have been totally appropriate, because I do think that!]. I totally felt you in that post, and I want to sit down and properly respond to it. But I haven't had the time / taken the time to do so, and it weighs on me. There's a recent post of Mandy's to which I could say the same thing. Ugh.

  3. Lovely picture of your little "bookworms"

    Typically, I don't forget birthdays nd important events date of people I'm close to and even some colleagues and friends from eons ago. But recently I forget a friend's 30th birthday worse still I remembered only more than a full week after. Bad I know. I called her when I remembered and she thought I sent her a msg which I didn't (my sister did).

    If you haven't called yet I'll say just call and say happy belated birthday. Especially if she's the kind of friend that would also usually do the same.

    I will miss your FF posts, but hope you can continue even if once a month. I think you might have written about some of the topics I like if not here you go - dealing with good news of friends
    - being friends with people who are in different space than you are (eg single friends, older friends, younger friends, colleagues etc)

  4. Ja. I think that last night's one may have been my last one but I'll see. I have loved it though and will always write about it.

    I haven't forgotten birthdays for a very long time - I use my phone and fb to remind me. However, I am the only one in this house who remembers so I'm thinking of introducing an actual physical birthday calendar so the kids can also learn to remind me instead of the other way around. In this case I would just call and apologise.
    Hope your workload eases up soon..xx

  5. I'm terrible at keeping in contact with friends... always have been... which is probably why I don't have many close friends.

  6. If it wasn't for facebook, I'd constantly be saying sorry to people whose birthdays I missed!

  7. Please don't worry about forgetting their b-day, it didn't even cross my mind! We had such a busy day. And thanks for the call on Sun morning, we were out walking. Sorry I didn't call you back, Sun just flew by.

  8. Anonymous5:54 pm

    I have learned recently that although the little things are important, they don't make the friendship. True friends I think should be able to miss thigns now and then, if you rely too much on all that it can eat you up. I have had that happen, and it's hard to get over. I have been reading Women I Want to Grow Old With lately, and it talks about the things that we can do to keep friends around us, and it's about the big picture. This has really helped me have a different perspective on this subject, and I have become a little better with the whole thing! is where I got this book, it has been very helpful for me if anyone wants to take a look at it!


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