Thursday, May 23, 2013

Separate parties for 4-year-old twins?

So my goals for May as far as the party is concerned were to do the guest list and book the venue.


However, I seem to have ended up with a first pass list of 30 kids....

On the one hand I justify it saying "well, I'm hiring a venue so it doesn't matter" (one price for as many kids as you want) and on the other hand, there's Kendra.


Kendra told me she only wants 4 kids there.

You see, she's an introvert and is really much better with a smaller crowd.

Then I said, "what about so and so?" and she said, "oh yes, them too" and then I tested and said, "and these two?" and she said "YESSSS" so I realised I have lots more work to do with her because including her and Connor, there were 10 kids total.

In essence, she wants Connor to have a party and then she wants to have a separate party which sounds more like a playdate to me, with only 4 kids.

I get her, I really do, and if the friends were separate, I'd be totally game for that (more parties = more fun) but 4 little girls are not going to come out twice for the same set of twins.


Still, it's her birthday too...
I need to narrow down that list (or do I?) because after the RSVPs roll in (or to be fair, chase down the RSVPs), we'll be down to about 20 kids, which is a much more respectable number.
When do you start doing separate parties for twins? Have you thought about it at all?
What do you think we should do?


  1. I don't have twins but I think it's great that twins get the opportunity to have separate parties especially if the one is an introvert and the other one opposite.
    Enjoy the party planning.

  2. oh difficult. Good luck.

  3. Ai, I get Kendra's point and I do have understanding for her personality (remember last year?). However we are going to have one party until I really can no more. I want that one bit of "saving" from twins - two for the price of one party. And as they are in different classes this year it is going ot be big I guess. Unless we keep it small to family and house friends.

  4. She is still going to be at Connors party with all the other kids so there really is no difference?

    I would keep them together for now - there will come a time when they are older that they really do not want them together.

    Maybe go over the list - see if you can eliminate and then just invite them - you never know the final number - may be a number she can handle :)

  5. I really don't know. I believe if I had twins I would also try to keep it to one party. Those photos of the two are sooooo cute.

  6. Hmm, I would keep one party... mostly because of the cost.

  7. Why not do one party then schedule a playdate one on one with each of her 4 friends- or maybe have them come over in pairs for a playdate. I would just talk to those 4 kids moms. I sure they would understand having a one on one playdate after a birthday part.

  8. Oh goodness I have no idea... I planned on doing them together as long as possible LOL
    I think the only way I'd really move on to separate ones is if they had different friends, or like when they're older and if they were different genders like yours and wanted sleepover parties or something...

  9. Except for the cost, I don't think there's anything bad about two separate parties for them. If they were both your kids but NOT twins, you'd have them separately wouldn't you? Also with Kendra's play date party idea I don't think costs are going to get that crazy it's really a time thing more than anything else.

  10. No idea! That's one benefit of having a singleton - you don't have to cross these kinds of bridges ;)

    Good luck deciding what to do!


  11. Sjoe. This is a tough one. I completely get where she’s at. She and I have EXACTLY the same idea about birthday parties. Small and intimate so you can actually connect with people without ending up feeling overwhelmed.

    I also hear what Laura is saying in that the same kids will come to Connors party which she’s essentially going to be a part of. I don’t know how you are going to do this but I think that you would probably need to negotiate something and possibly work on an alternative plan for next year. Would love to know what solution you come up with.

  12. the playdate can be the next month or something, right? do you have to label it the party for her? maybe they could both share the bigger party, then they could each have a playdate later with some closer friends? so that they get some alone attention, too?

    i have NO idea. i hate parties :) i suppose i will have to start thinking of my september party, too!

  13. We are going to run into this problem at some point (or maybe not!) since our girls have birthdays 12 days apart. I can't fathom hosting 2 parties in such a short time period, so for sure this year it'll be combined since BabyM is not going to care if her 1st birthday is the same party as her big sister's. But when they get older? No idea how this is going to work. I may just do a family party for both, then have each girl have a small gathering of friends (like 2-4) to do something fun. But I'm sure they'll have their own ideas.


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