Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Being celebrated

The two biggest lessons I learnt from doing Superhero Photo are, in fact, not really photography lessons but life lessons:

  1. move your body (!) in other words, be willing to get uncomfortable... for the ultimate good and 
  2. look for the light 

I honestly drive around now saying, "MMMMMMM, gorgeous light".

The other day I was driving with Kendra and I said, "dear LORD, that sunset is so beautiful" and she said, "take a photo, Mummy" :) I didn't have the big camera but I did take one with the iphone.

Anyway, the point is I so appreciate some great light so this particular afternoon we were doing who-knows-what at home and I walked into the study.

The light was AMAZING so I grabbed the family for an impromptu photo shoot. So mesmerized was I by the light, I carried on taking (no joke) 80 self-portraits afterwards.

Clearly I have no issues with self-portraits.

These are some of my favourites from that day.

Look closely at the four words on my necklace. MandyE, this is the one I ordered from Dayspring.

that last word is chosen

Those 4 words are what we are to God - celebrated, created, cherished and chosen.

I want to talk a little about the word celebrated though.

I've always thought that's it's important for each of us to be celebrated for exactly who we are. For every little weirdness.

After all, it's in the quirkiness that connection happens.

I've always had that at this company before. You see, I'm not your average employee. I say things others won't, engage with people in a (hopefully) meaningful way, not only superficially and I have lots of quirks, least of which is a very fully stocked kitchen at work.

Basically, my weird was always celebrated.

And I think that's the hardest part of this new job for me. I feel like I'm being simply tolerated which is even more awful than when you just read that.

So I've become quieter and more guarded. I find I'm not sharing (valuable) insider info either which is part of what I thought I bring to this particular party. Because why bother when it's tossed aside?

It's more than just adjusting. Because when you know you belong, you realise there are things you don't know but you fit anyway so the adjusting is just figuring out the ropes. That's not what's happening here. I feel different - I can't believe I have to talk myself into getting out of bed in the morning. (granted - that could also be winter)

At the moment I have to give myself a pep talk every morning on the way to work and then pray for a good day. Sometimes the good day is in the form of good work and other times it's one good meeting or simply all the IT systems working or a taxi driver blocking other cars so I can actually exit the parking garage and get into the stream of traffic. I LOVED him for doing that the other day. Restores my faith in humanity.

But deep down or not so deep down, I'm just not happy.

Those of you who have access to the private blog can read more details here.

And now, let's distract ourselves with some lovely photos of me and the kids :)

she'd just woken from a nap - love this pic

Are you celebrated at work and home?


  1. So sad after reading this.

    Wish you weren't going through such a crappy time x

  2. So sorry that you have to go through this, but I also know that once you find your position that's been waiting for you, you will be extra happy. Hang in there M, something amazing is coming your way, you were sent on these peoples paths to show them something, it might not be something you see or understand right now, but just know that there is a reason for this season of your life. Sending you big hugs in the meantime xx

  3. Oh Marcia - this makes me sad :( I felt like this when I was working - it was the wrong fit for me. I changed, lost a little of who I am!

    Things do have a way of working out though - eventually! You just have to trust and have faith :) (easier said than done I know)

    PS - am I allowed access?

  4. You know it's not you, right? A job can just be a bad fit for a great person. I'm a big fan of frequent job changes to keep things interesting, ESPECIALLY if it's not working.

    Good luck to you. Also, Superhero Photo made me appreciate light so much more too. My hubby rolls his eyes at me when I talk about the "Magic Hour" ;)

  5. Oh I so understand why you are not happy. I am a true believer that what is different or quirky about each person is what creates the best oppertunity in them (work wize) and makes them interesting people to be around with (on a personal level).

    Oh and I love that necklace (And the precious light)

  6. There is nothing worse than not being appreciated for what makes you special. I hope the right fit job comes along very soon.

    PS: Am I allowed access?

  7. I love those words and yes, that is for sure what we are to God.

  8. I love your necklace and you make me appreciate the light too. I was sitting in a place and the sun was rising over the clouds. It was magnificent and made me think of you. I pray for you and the job situation. God will make a way for you.

  9. in my previous comment place should read plane. I have no idea how to edit the comment.

  10. Love the necklace, and the beautiful photos of you with your little ones.

    You bet I am celebrated at work, after all I pay the wages:-)

  11. I love this post. And at the same time it saddens me. Your situation brings back terrible memories for me so I do know that no matter what people say and how much they encourage, it's not always enough. At the time a friend of mine told me that one day I would laugh about it. Let me tell you I STILL don't laugh about that situation. In fact, I've buried it deep into my sub-conscious.
    I am definitely celebrated at home. In fact, I live in a house of weird and quirky so in a way we celebrate one another. In my current place of employment I am somewhat celebrated too, though not 100% - about 70%. IT's still better than nothing. My colleagues LOVE the quirk and the mannerisms and they've never made me feel self-conscious about it.
    I am so sorry that you are unhappy. I wish I could do something to make it better for you but I can't. So I'll just pray.


  12. Love these photos!

    Marcia, no job is worth this kind of misery. You are awesome abd you deserve to put your magic into a place that will appreciate it.

    I know you're doing everything to find something better. Don't lose hope - the right thing will come along.

  13. Love these photos!

    Marcia, no job is worth this kind of misery. You are awesome abd you deserve to put your magic into a place that will appreciate it.

    I know you're doing everything to find something better. Don't lose hope - the right thing will come along.

  14. Love the spirit behind this post. I'm so sorry you aren't feeling celebrated or appreciated at work. I hope something changes soon!


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