Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I'm in trouble at the school

First of all, I want to say a BIG thank you to all of you who read, commented and emailed to encourage me about the job. It means a whole lot to know that I have support here.

I want to answer all the comments (why don't I just resign seems a very common one?) but tonight I have a ton of work to do and I want to tell you how I got in trouble with the school.

Some background...

I have HUGE issues with sweets.

They get far too many sweets and sweet things at school (that will be another post later this week).

Then a week or two back a note arrives with an elaborate 8-week collection for various kinds of chocolates every week (every week!) until October when it will be the chocolate festival. All in the name of fundraising.

So on the back of my increasing frustration, I snapped and said to Nanny S, this is nonsense. No way.

And I blocked it out because I'm really too busy to faff with 6 Bar-ones and 6 chocolate milks on a weekly basis, per child.

I meant to deal with it head-on as is my style and amazingly, the planets aligned and just this morning, I emailed D to delegate the drafting of the email.

He was busy and just after Nanny S collects the kids, he gets an email which he forwarded to me.

How when they asked Nanny S where the chocolates are and she says I said this is nonsense.


So we drafted a nice email back to say something more tactful but that we are frustrated by the sweets in general and had we been less busy, we would have already brought it all to their attention..

Really, I'm also annoyed because which parent has the time for continuous faffing. I feel it would be more efficient (and efective) to get a monetary donation and then use their bulk buying power at Macro to get the things cheaper.

Of course we probably won't be going to the chocolate festival... unless I can leave the kids there for 3 hours afterwards.

Have you ever got in trouble at your children's school?
Am I being unreasonable about this fundraising?

PS I have a very low need for affiliation so I really don't care if the school hates me but of course, I have to be slightly tactful for the kids' sake.

Here are some pics of the kids - it's been two days without photos :)

she loves this little cardigan because it's like "Mummy's jerseys"


  1. If you volunteer to help out with fundraising ideas I'm sure they will be open to your not liking the chocolate idea... I remember at the school I taught at we also had things like this every Friday. But we got smart and only gave them the sweets at the end of the day. So we didn't have to deal with all the sugar!

  2. Haven't been around much since Google Reader closed down ... Feedly is OK ... but just not as good with reading a large number of posts in a very short amount of time.

    I've never been a fan of fund raisers ... too often I see very little money raised compared to the amount of money spent to do the fund raiser. One school we went to, allowed the parents to donate a specific amount of money instead of participating. Nearly half of the parents chose to take advantage of it, and not surprising, most of the half that chose the fund raisers barely participated (like buying ONE chocolate bar) and then only letting their kids ask relatives to buy others. As it turned out, the amount donated up front was nearly three times the amount that was later raised, even with the 10 families that were quite gung ho about fund raisers (and made up 98% of what was raised through the fund raisers.)

    I'm sure part of this was due to the parents income as well. We had a large number of parents barely affording to keep their kids in the school, and since they worked two jobs, and overlapped friends with many of the others, had no time or "new bodies" who could purchase via the fund raisers.

    Personally, I rarely participate in any kind of fund raisers for anyone. I would much prefer to give, donate, or spend time working to help a group than to purchase something I don't want with money that I don't have to buy something I could get for less than half the cost at the store.

  3. we haven't had to deal with any of this yet, thankfully. our school only does fruits/grains for snacks. occasionally when a child has a birthday or something there will be a sweet...but that is definitely not the norm. it seems crazy that they would have sweets on a regular basis. :(

    we have not had any fundraisers yet, either. again, i am super thankful for this.

    i hope that you can smooth it out with them and present your view!

  4. Is there an option to opt out of activities? Just like you would opt out of religious activities if they conflicted with your beliefs? Same concept.

  5. What are they going to do, stick you in the naughty corner? Just remind them who the customer is and that you don't appreciate them giving your two healthy eaters so much sugar to begin with.

    I haven't been in trouble at N's school but we've had some heated disagreements on occasion. Usually they come round to my way of thinking or worst case we meet halfway on something.

    Go give them a piece of your mind Marcia. They won't know how you feel unless you tell them.

  6. I would be in serious trouble if that was Little OL's schools idea of a fund raiser. Another (there are many) reasons why I love the school Little OL is at, at the moment is their NO SWEETS, NO SUGAR, NO JUNK food rule. They have a saying Nude Food is good food or something like that - in other words please only send food that is not processed or prepackaged. They don't even like flavoured yoghurt as it is filled with sugar and ask that you only send it in rarely for a treat.

    We could not (did not want to) attend the schools fundraiser this year and asked if we could send a monetary donation instead. They were very happy with that.

  7. I love how you don't take nonsense from the school. I don't either and sometimes this can either work in our advantage or be like so against us. Either way, I don't take crap and I love that you stand your ground.

  8. What a stupid fund raiser idea! But my dear, fundraisers are going to be part of your life for the next 20 odd years - so one will have to deal with it in some way. The faffing to an extend will have to be there. But I do agree this one is not the best idea - also keep in mind that you may be at the very healthy end of the scale in terms of sweets and in the end of the day we are the ones that have to teach our kids to self regulate sweets - although what they are doing is certainly only making it more difficult

  9. lesley10:36 am

    I totally agree about the faffing, i would rather they be honest and say 'we need this much' than keep doing things in dribs and draps - waste of time.

    I have complained about lots of things over the years to do with school. One of the most annoying things i complained about was the schools policy of handing out attendance medals at the end of year. This practice encouraged the children to come to school when they were sick, some would even come in to get their 'mark' on the register then call their parents and go home - thus sharing their germs with the whole class!
    So a few years back when there were huge concerns over bird flu(i think), the school asked for parents to sending extra soap, paper towels and asked for us to make sure we didn't send our children to school if we suspected they may have the flu. But they never stopped the attendance medal system!! I went and spoke to the Principle and said the children would be coming in sick if they didn't put an embargo on the medals. We got a letter the next day to say if there was an outbreak the medals would be suspended for the year : ))) Unfortunately after the scare the medals were back in place.

    I also think, that when you are an organized person yourself, it is quite maddening to see disorganization : ))

  10. Oh gosh Marcia! This is one of those "choose your battles" moments! Like Rina said you are going to have to deal with this as long as your kids are at school!

    Kiara has cake and cake every second week at school, Cameron has it once a month. There is dress up read-a-thon day next week!There is ALWAYS some or other fundraiser - some easier than others but it is ALWAYS happening!

    Another thing to keep in the back of your mind is the impact on the kids. There are times you can stand firm and strong on issues but sometimes your decisions will effect the kids! I also think this is a silly fundraiser but remember that if your kids are the only ones not participating then you must be sure THEY understand why.

    School, my friend, is a mine field of this stuff!

  11. I remember getting very agitated with all the little things that had to be taken to school for fund raisers. I always believed that they should just include the costs in the school fees and get it over with. I hate fundraisers (lol and I am in Non Profit)and bazaars.

  12. Stupid fundraiser idea. We don't really attend fundraisers except very occasionally. We did Bingo at Joel's school a few months back ONLY because it included a dinner and I figured we could kill a few birds with one stone. We won A LOT of prizes so it was a good decision to go. The end of this month his school is having a theatre fundraiser at the Barnyard. I DO want to go that one because it's a musical. We kind of just go to whatever we feel like. Not every single one!

  13. LOl at your faffing comment and LOL at the school- Are they insane? Wanting pre-schoolers to have a sweets festival. SMH.

  14. I've just noticed that my comment didn't show on your last post. I said "as difficult as it is right now, you have to believe that the reason you didn't get the last job is because there is a better one out there for you. trust me on this? Please? And obviously trust our Father upstairs. Just HAVE FAITH.

    And as far as collecting chocs, what a waste of time. Tell them you'll contribute an equal amount in rands. Flip. Chocolate? Surely?

  15. I've not been in trouble with Kade's school yet but I am sure I will be in future. Regarding not letting the kids participate, I think you should reconsider this, they might feel ostracized if they are the only two not taking part and I've seen your kids choose hotdogs over sweet things at a party before - somehow I think they would not really overindulge...

    Good luck~!


  16. Really? They couldn't come up with a better fundraising idea?? I don't mind fundraising if it is for a good cause i.e something new and helpful that the school needs and that will positively impact learning for the students. Also, fundraising done well. Collecting of chocolate - seems bizarre to me.
    I love that our school does not fundraising whatsoever. In fact, they pride themselves on this and even mention it in the newsletter, lol! I hate to be hassled with extra stuff, I know the time is coming when fundraising will become as common as attending school - most moms with kids in big school will attest to this, but for now, the less I have to concern myself with outside of normal school things, the happier I am!


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