Monday, September 23, 2013

birthday party RSVPs and gifts

So remember how I wanted to make friends at the kids' school?

Yes.... not so much.

There are a few nice ladies but nobody really seemed keen for new friends even though I could see who I'd get on with.

All fine because we're all busy and a number of their kids have been at the school a year or two already.

So now we have a new system:

I asked K who she wanted at their party. She gave me four names and I wrote them down.

I then asked C and he gave me two names, one of which was the same kid as K named.

We invited all these children and 4 of the 5 accepted.

We've since been invited to another 4 parties across the two classes.

Two of the kids came to ours so we accepted.

I've never even heard C speak of the one child so I just said no to that one, and then the other day, we got another invite.

Me Connor, do you want to go to S's party?

Connor No thanks, Mummy, he's not my friend. (not in a mean way, just very factually, which I believe because he's spoken about this kid about 3 times, and all the times it was in a S was crying today kind of way)

D then suggested we hang onto the invite in case he changes his mind. I said, "no thank you, I'm not forcing the issue. Also the mother will appreciate a swift RSVP, I know I would".

So I sent her an email and she sent me a reply thanking me for my quick response :)


What's your modus operandi for birthday party RSVPs?
Are your kids fairly certain if they want to go, or do you always go if you're free?

(I'm trying to teach them the value of a well thought-out decision - we've had some tears when they realised that sometimes instant gratification is not so good :))

PS if you don't go, do you send a gift? I don't...only if we RSVPd yes and can't go due to sickness.


  1. I delay as long as possible and then RSVP ON the date that they want. We don't go to half the stuff unless it's being held outdoors. Child2 hates parties and says no to everything! I make him go to one or two but more often than not, we just don't go. We went to EVERYTHING with Child1. That's because he's the type of kid who LOVES parties. No presents if we don't go.

  2. And this is the beauty of starting school late! You can figure all this stuff out for me to follow!!

    The ladies have one shared friend, it's a beautiful thing for the time being. Since I know they'll be together when they start school, I'm half assuming they'll be invited to parties together. Of those invites I'd say we'd only be going to true friends and not taking up courtesy invites.

    We will also have the same gift policy. I'm wondering how the ladies will handle going to these friend parties but not having parties themselves. Their birthday is the in the middle of summer break and during peak vacation season. :/

  3. This is history for me . PHEW, I am actually very relieved.

  4. I always ask them if they want to go. If they say no, I tell them to remember they chose it. It is more difficult if we actually can not make it - then I say, x invited you but we can not go because.... and 99% of the time they are ok with it Up till last year we decided who to invite for the boys - this year, we asked for school names - they each gave a list. (quite long)

  5. If we're free we usually go. A lot of the children are actually more children of my friends than they are specifically Nicola's friends, but I want her to have a broad base of people she knows. I think we'll probably head more in the direction you're taking when we hit primary school or there abouts.

    I am the same as you with the gifts...

  6. I RSVP immediately! I hate waiting for RSVP's so as soon as I check our calendar I reply. Usually the kids want to go - its not often now at their age that they don't.

    We only send a gift if it is a close friend and we can't make it!

  7. We're not in the school party mode yet. For the few friends that we get invited to I rsvp immediately (well as soon as I've checked with Cliff that we are free to go cos we normally do parties together). If we cannot go I don't send a gift unless they are kids of my closest friends.



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