Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The elephant in the room

Edited - this is post 1700!

Thank you for your very lovely comments on this post.

I really am all talked out about the job, to be honest, so don't take it personally if I don't reply to emails.

I also sense that God is asking me to put a guard on my mouth and just be still, for now. Even though two extra big things have happened since I last wrote about it on here. The truth is it's easier for me to blab here than it is for me to earnestly pray and seek guidance, clarity, strength, etc.

I received a lovely heartfelt email suggesting I may want to go on the anti-depressants for a bit. Friends, I've considered it myself at least twice. Both times on Monday mornings, strangely enough :)

On Sunday in church I was all set with my diary trying to find a time to go to the doc and get something so I can just stop the almost daily crying at the slightest thing when God spoke to me. Basically, to hold off for awhile. D also doesn't think it a good idea.

I wrote those down and then more and more were "downloaded". I just wrote it all down and so I'll be doing a bit of an experiment.

For some readers, this will be normal and for some strange. That's fine :)

I also told my MIL a little bit about what's going on and asked her to pray for me. One thing about her - she is steadfast and immovable with these things. Sure enough the next day I had a scripture to stand on, personalised for my situation and not only does it "talk" to me but is one of my favourites. Actually, I "preached" on it at She Speaks last year.

I feel your prayers, those who have been praying. I really do. Thank you!

The way I "overcame" infertility was God and a team of 20 medical professionals :) The way I'm going to overcome this work barrenness is the same way - God and a team of 20 prayer warriors. Obviously, me, D, MIL and a few of you are praying.

Over the next week or two, if you think of me and sense something, a phrase, a word, a scripture, etc, please just shoot me a quick mail/ sms. I so appreciate it.

And now, let's end with a pretty picture. She caught me taking silhouette photos of her :)



So tell me, do you have any elephants you don't want to talk about? :)

PS I won't ask about your jobs since I'm obviously experiencing LinkedIn envy at the moment. It's like Facebook envy about people's wonderful lives, but for jobs!

11 comments:

  1. Oh LOL and btw I can't stand LinkedIn because I don't believe half the stuff people put on there ;)
    I've had a giggle at how colleagues describe their jobs.
    And thinking about you loads, and I'll be one of those prayer warriors

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  2. Count me in among those praying for you! : )

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  3. Praying my friend.

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  4. My MIL is my elephant! I am very passive aggressive about the whole thing - which is wrong!

    I also don't do LinkedIn but no matter how hard I try to delete it - it will not move - I actually somehow have TWO profiles on my 2 emails!!!

    The thing with those jobs/lives though - especially what you see online is that it can be manipulated. I can blog about how great things are when in reality it is really really horrible (its not but I am just saying) - so careful what you wish for/envy :))))

    I will say a prayer my friend!

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  5. I will of course pray for you...

    Today is one of those "I fail at life" days for me. We were off to a very rocky start this morning, and by the time I dropped N at school we were both in tears. I don't know why everything has to be so f-ing hard all the time.

    Work is work, sucks and all that, but I can bend my head around it if I don't have to be constantly bogged down by my colleague across the partition's whining and complaining that ALL is lost. It's just so draining...it's sucking my will to live.

    So today I told her that I don't care (which isn't true), but that I've used up all my care for the day on my own personal fiasco this morning and all bitching and whining will have to be parked till tomorrow. Surprisingly, she has given me the space I need today for a bit of a reset.

    Tomorrow I'll feel better again, I'm sure - but today I'm wallowing in self pity and it's okay. Everyone's entitled to an off day right? Well...I need it...and I'm bloody taking it.

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  6. Sometimes I think my whole life is an elephant. I need to make use of my private blog again...

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  7. I have MANY elephants! I just blogged about the one and I'm not done with that subject yet. Part 2 comes tomorrow. I wish I could be like Louisa and just tell people to park their crap till tomorrow. I just put in my headphones and listen to music if I can't cope!

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  8. I have a few baby ones. Praying for you my friend.

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  9. There's always an elephant. Whether we acknowledge it or not is another thing. Well, sometimes we just have to shut up and pray!!!

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  10. My recent elephant was the fact that my sister hadn't been working for 6 months and was putting strain on my mom and I as we helped her thru her tough time. There is ALWAYS an elephant in everyone's lives...

    xxx

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