Friday, November 22, 2013

{Friendship Friday} The drop-in visitor

I read two posts on incourage about how some people love to drop-in on their friends, some hate it and some like a bit of warning first.

Where I grew up, there was a fair amount of dropping in happening from family. I can't remember my mother saying one way or the other if she enjoyed it or not. Now I think she enjoys it but that's because it's mostly her sisters who do the dropping in thing.

I am far more outgoing than my mother so I really don't mind unless I had something specific planned. I do like about 5 minutes' notice as you're driving to my house so I can put on some lipstick first (lipstick is the thing I must have on the imaginary desert island).

I also have the type of personality that doesn't mind saying, "how lovely but I must tell you, we need to go do grocery shopping/ I'm busy cleaning but please come sit in the kitchen/ I was just about to jump in the shower - give me 20 minutes"

And I think that's the key.

If you read the comments on those two posts I linked to above, you'll see a lot of people who feel resentful but don't want to set a boundary.

Back to me.

I never, ever drop in on people. I have done impromptu dates (Caren springs to mind where I sent her a text/ email a few hours before to say we were going to be in the area and would she be up to meeting up for a quick lunch - she was!) but not the drop-in.

It's partly a function of distance (everyone is so darn far away that it's quite impractical not to phone and check first) and overscheduling (I've spoken before about how people in Jhb seem to be "booked up" for months in advance).

I have one (ONE!) friend who has said to me to just "drop in when you're in the area". I'm the type who is never "just in the area" :) Another friend (3am) wouldn't mind but they also live about 20 - 25 mins away so there's no dropping in happening anytime soon.

We dropped in ONCE on my MIL (interestingly, it was after the 2nd HCG test after we were pregnant with the twins). We went for the bloods, went to do another errand closer to her home and then phoned her to check if she was in first, and then popped over for tea. Very civilised.

Are you the type who loves people dropping in, or do you hate it?

Do you drop in on your friends or family?

Then, some random photos.


these pillows are the best baby gift we received - we've used it for 4+ years now. I should haul out some of my terrible early day photos to show you in a "looking back" post
i love coriander. Especially this one.
taken last month sometime

11 comments:

  1. I like it when people just drop in. In Port Elizabeth that is do able wherever you live. Those are usually the most memorable times spent with friends. It usually turns into having a meal together.

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  2. We tended to do that quite a bit pre kids but for some reason that stopped. It's a pity actually think we'd keep in touch more if we did.

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  3. Dropping in was common before technology ruled our lives. There was a lot of that when we were growing up. The mere thought of doing that now just doesn't cross people's mind these days. While I don't drop in on people I really don't mind if friends stop by.

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  4. Coriander is cilantro! Mind blown!! My coriander is little pods... time to google!

    Back on topic, I never drop in. Thankfully everyone who might be tempted to drop in on me knows I'm never home and would avoid them coming at all costs. It's always a hassle with the kids/dog/messy house. I much prefer my scheduled meetings, even if they're on the fly. I need notice!

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  5. I hate people just dropping in! I have 2 friends who are allowed to do it - but that's because we have a lot of history and they know me VERY well. I don't do it. EVER. Well. I only do it with my parents. My Mom LOVES it btw and doesn't mind people doing it. But then, she's a natural at hosting and entertaining and she doesn't have all these "issues" that I have. Must say I am very envious of people who are OK with it.

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  6. I do enjoy it when someone drops in on occasion. Some of the best evenings come from spur of the moment drop ins if you ask me.

    Now and then I do drop ins too...but I usually keep mine for times when I'm very worried about someone.

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  7. I'm ok with drop in visitors if they call ahead of time. I really can never guarantee we'll be home. We also prefer to call to make sure if people are around if we happen to be in the area. Love the pics! Coriander is my favorite too, although here in the States, it's called cilantro. Love the pic of Kendra! She is such a cutie.

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  8. I am ok with drop in visitors but I ma not sure the rest of my family necessarily are. L loves routine and knowing whats happening. I never just drop in - I tend to phone. But imprompto lunch dates close to the office is a regular happening which I love

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  9. I would drop in on my mom a lot but always phone en route to check she was in etc - my close friends are too far! My MIL LOVES to drop in - I don't love it so much!

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  10. I think the only person I would drop in on would be my mom but I would always call her before hand to make sure she's at home! I would hate to get in the car etc and turn up to an empty house. I think in this day and age dropping in on people is just not the done thing. It's not like in the old days when ppl didn't have mobile phone's etc and you just took a chance that ppl would be home. I wouldn't like to have people just drop by. But I don't mind impromptu get togethers etc.

    xxx

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  11. Living on base, the only people who could drop in would be other military- you need a military ID to get on base. Otherwise, we get the advance notice because visitors get stopped at the gate and we have to go sign them in.

    That said, Ethan's friends drop in all the time. They're always here actually, and I don't mind at all.

    I never drop in on anyone, but I will call/text and let people know I'm in the area and ask if they want to meet for lunch or something.

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