Thursday, June 05, 2014

Let's talk about meanness on the Internets for a minute

First, is it a Southern thing that the word "the" has to be in front of words other people say by themselves?

Example - The Goodwill

I spotted a status on an Instagram pic the other day that reminded me of this phenomenon... but I have seen it before.

I love it, by the way.

The Internets is another example that I'm stealing :)

the leaning tower of books. I'm on a mission to get through some physical books.

Right, onto the meanness.

I follow a very popular blog - a mom with 3 kids... had a book published.... 2nd kid is extra special.... quirky, vintage style.... right, you all know who I'm talking about now.

I also follow her on Instagram.

Normally I don't read comments on either because who has the time but I happened to "like" a pic and see a very rude comment when I did so a few days ago.

I don't know. I just don't see why people feel the need to interfere in other people's lives.

  • Surely people know the blog and IG is but a SLIVER of real life?
  • Surely if you feel like you oppose someone so much that they bother or annoy you then you'll just unfollow and stop reading (that's what I do, and have done)?
  • Surely you realise you can't pass judgement on someone's marriage, parenting, mental state, etc. without knowing them and having them ask for your opinion?
I don't know why this unsettled me but I think it may be because it was the second of such "attacks" I saw on this lady in about a month and I just think it's so mean-spirited and unfair.

I think she's amazing for still being SANE with all the stuff constantly thrown at her. Apparently there are websites devoted to writing mean things.

I mean, come on, that says more about you than about anything she may or may not have done/ is/ is intending to do.

And frankly, it's none of any of our business.

I'm very sure I'd be on the little white pills permanently if I were in her shoes.

D's side

Then another blogger I follow wrote two blog posts that are kind of objective book reviews but not, if you know what I mean. I read lots and lots and LOTS of business-y blogs and these two posts had a "tone" to it.

Communication - 7% verbal, 23% tone and the rest body language (or thereabouts). This tone was off.

I think she has it in for the type of person who writes those types of books. To be honest, I'm definitely not the target audience for the one book, and I can't seem to get past a few chapters of the other, but I wouldn't write something like that.

Maybe I'm just too darn sensitive these days? :)

Tell me honestly, do you like all the drama? Do you get caught up in the comments and such?

I'm hoping once I write this and get it out, I can stop thinking about it.

PS if you're ultra curious, let me know and I'll email you. I'm not linking in case those mean girls come here!
PPS physical books are so much more photogenic than Kindle books!


  1. Can't stand the drama (it upsets me tremendously!) and yet, I often can't stop staring. I NEVER get involved though. It's like being at the scene of an accident when you know that you need to move on but for whatever reason you just don't want to miss out!
    I don't get it to be honest. Why would you follow someone just to be mean to them? This kind of stuff ONLY happens on the internets. Who is the IG person?

    1. You make me laugh only because in real life I actually go to the lane furthest from the accident and purposely avert my eyes. #justcallmeawuss

  2. I just had to comment on this one because it BLOWS my mind people are just so mean! If I am going to write a comment that could be considered rude - even a little bit (never my intention but my sister is a words person and so I am sensitive to how people interpret things) then I delete. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to hurt someone's feelings on purpose! Or why people need to be mean! There are several bloggers that grate on my nerves, I doubt I would like them in person and I certainly don't care for them online but I would never ever want to be mean to them just because I can? Or point out why I think they are (fill in my perceived bad quality here).

    I have to agree with Julia on the can't stop staring part - I also won't get involved (even with the people sticking up for the other, I really feel like that just fuels the fire) but sometimes I can't look away. I get upset when I read it that people can be so awful (again like Julia) which is probably an indication that I should stop looking.

    I'm also curious who the person is.

    1. If I really don't like what someone says on a continual basis, I just stop reading. I don't feel it my mission in life to let the person know why and be mean

  3. I don't know the bloggers, but I wanted to say that the "the" thing is not a Southern thing. :)

    Also, just something I've observed as a reader of blogs: It seems that when commenting, if the commenter expresses a different opinion than the blogger, that is considered mean or negative. For that reason I don't often comment on blogs (and of course have stopped reading those that I found annoying). Sometimes it seems that bloggers are seeking a variety of opinions when they actually want fans. Not the same thing, you know? (Just my opinion.)

    1. Thanks for telling me about the THE thing. Was coincidence as I noticed two ladies from the South using it :)

      I do see the raving fan syndrome too although a lot of the time it is just blatant rudeness or judgement.

  4. Mmm...this is the main reason why I don't blog in Afrikaans. You haven't seen anything until you've seen how much politic goes on in those comments! High horses everywhere.

    If I want to say something, I say it. It's never done with malice. I can do it nicely...meaning straight forward and without insults, not in the kind of buttering up and hardly an opinion kind of way.

    1. I had NO idea about the Afrikaans politics.

      You are very straightforward but never mean or bitchy (superpower) 😀

    2. Gosh...I also didn't know about the Afrikaans blogging :-P

  5. Firstly..Wow Louisa...I am surprised by the Afrikaans things.
    I have become very fussy about the blogs I am following. Things that put me off a blog .1) Give-aways, I am not into freebies 2) Too perfect of a life, because we all know life has its ups and downs and finally 3) Busy blogs that get caught up in the politics.......................I hate politics. If I don't agree I simply move on or if I constantly don't agree, then I unfollow. But I have seen that people are braver on SM.

    1. So true! I agree with you on all your points because I do the same thing.

    2. I just figured out who you are talking too...she is an amazing woman. She is earthy and so natural. I also do not read her comments cause she has so many.

  6. Geez, women are catty bitches hey. I don't have a blog, because my posts would surely incite some mean spirited remarks etc, and I don't need that shit in my life, I'd swear everyone hah hah, but would these women dare say it in's easy to write shit on the computer, but so many people can't show their true colours in person, and act fake nice etc but talk about you behind your back. Do they post the comments anonymously or as their own blog accounts? I'm guessing you're referring to Tertia? She's awesome, lovely sense of humor and outlook.

    1. Hi!!! No these are not South African bloggers.

  7. To be honest, I am way too busy to mind this type of thing much and I have developed a rather thick skin. But I hate it that people take the time and effort to be nasty. Really? Do you need to?

    And mail me please - because now I am curios

    (And you have a Jo Nesbo in that batch - have not read that one but generally enjoy his books)

  8. It is the internet and it is easy to write. I think if you are going to blog, then you are putting things out there and you should expect things that you are not going to agree with. If someone posts a comment you do not like than you have tools available to delete, reply, block…whatever takes your fancy. We really should not take things so close to the heart. If I come across a blog post I do not agree with, I will just not comment. However we are all different and react differently. I am just not that sensitive.

  9. I blogged about this a while ago when I discovered one of those websites. I was horrified when I read some of it. I honestly dont get it.

    If I am following someone on twitter and they are posting stuff I am not insterested in/don't like - I unfollow. Same with the blogs I don't like - I unsubscribe. I don't tell the person "Oh I don't like you I am unfollowing" because I do not see that as productive at all.

    On a blog like yours, where we know each other enough to take things from where they come, I may say "I disagree" or something but I won't be mean. Not because I am a nice person but because it is manners?

    Gareth Cliff gets hate mail daily and I honestly do not understand why people spend so much time listening to someone they don't like? WHY? Makes no sense.

  10. Exactly what Julia said.. I avoid it, don't take part in it, but stalk from the sideline (haha) because it blows my mind how some people are not afraid/ashamed to be outright nasty on a public forum. I am ON THE EDGE of slagging a company on social media because I have been RIPPED off and I really feel they will only start paying attention if/when I create a scene, but even that... I feel BAD to say nasty things online - directly to the person or behind their back because you think they won't see it. Any case, I've been raised on the old school tip of if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I've been told that I'm very straightforward..and I do know I have offended some people with my zealous take on my own opinions (!!) but I truly hope I have never been nasty in getting my point across! AARRGHH THANK GOODNESS I COPIED AND PASTED.. comment disappeared! take 2..

  11. I don't get the why some people have to be mean! You can disagree with someone's point of view lovingly or a good heart! If I don't have something good or constructive to say I say nothing

  12. I don't get it at all. If I don't like a blog I am following...I unfollow. Simple...quite frankly I enough ugliness in my day-to-day life I don't need to see it online. I believe that if you cannot be kind be quiet.

  13. Took me a little while to figure out who you meant with the 3 kids thing but yes I've also noticed how really MEAN people are to her. Who cares how she dresses her kids etc?

    My rule of thumb is that if it's not something I wouldn't say to the person's face, I won't say it when commenting. There are ways of respectfully disagreeing with people without being MEAN and NASTY.

    If people annoy me I unfollow or stop reading. I don't have the time or energy to put into something I don't like or agree with.



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