Friday, July 04, 2014

{Friendship Friday} Well, June was just okay

When I was doing my goals earlier this week, I wondered why I felt so unsatisfied and yet there were actually too many socials (5 plus Spanish/ Father's Day).

It's because we were at too many kids' parties.

And not enough proper quality time connection with friends. In fact, I only had one 1:1 friend date in June. She's currently on maternity leave and she lives <5 br="" easy.="" from="" it="" me="" mins="" so="" was="">

There are two things going on:
  1. I feel like my time isn't as flexible as I'd like it to be. Before, I'd meet people for lunch or straight after work sometimes. These days I pick up the kids at lunch and while I know Nanny S could fetch them, I just worry about her walking a lot now that she's pregnant. Also, she leaves earlier (my idea) now that it's winter. This is an easy problem to fix though because it involves organising - I'll have to sort out the logistics before too long because the friend dates are actually piling up.
  2. I'm starting to feel reclusive because I don't want to feel defensive. I hate the assumption that just because I'm not employed in corporate, I do nothing the whole day. I'm realising that my identity was indeed wrapped up in the work thing. So those "lady of leisure", "doing nothing all day" and "have you decided what you're going to do with your time?" comments really get my back up (I'm not saying my friends have said these to me - well, actually some have, probably not knowing how annoyed I get). I said to D yesterday, "THIS is going to send me back to "work" faster than anything else (social interaction, interesting role, money, etc.) and it should not be so". Is it weird? How do other people deal with this, or am I overly sensitive? It's not even a "new thing" - I've had this little business for 11 years!
(number 2 is not levelled at anyone - this is about me working things out)

Moving on. 

My friend, Caren turned 40 three weeks ago and had a lovely supper for all her friends.

It was such a great evening - I can't tell you how much we laughed. Caren and her friend had a glass or two before everyone arrived and they were just so funny (I don't think they quite realised!).

So interesting - Caren has known her one friend since they were literally babies (I think they're a few weeks apart) so her best friend, C, says in her speech, "well unlike K, I've only known Caren since we were 5!"


C put together a DVD of Caren's life all through childhood through to holidays, major events, etc. SOOOOO special.

These two make me so happy for them and a bit sad for me. I have friends but I don't have what they have.

Do you have a friend who would spend HOURS, days even poring through pics putting together something like this for you?

Life is short, hey? We should celebrate everything we can.

At some point I should tell you what I've decided for my 40th which is in 1 month and 2 days!

C & C did a great job with all the decor! It looked beautiful.

this is my favourite photo of the evening

Just the two of us :)

and the other two of us :)

How was your June?
Also, I feel like I've been talking to myself on the blog the past two weeks. Holler (I picked this up from a blog the other day) if you're still out there.


  1. No you are not talking to yourself! Been reading every few days but between work, Y getting the flu and me catching it too not much commenting going on.

    What I've learnt about sensitive type comments is that people don't realise the impact and secondly some do it for small talk. Just today a friend was telling me she saw a former classmate who she wasn't close to and hadn't seen in 10 years and one of the first comments out of the classmate was why is your son shy? Does he go to one of those schools where they are 5 in a class. If he went to a proper school he would be more social!

    Love the pictures of The two of you and the other two of you. And to your question I don't have such a friend as C's sadly :(

  2. Wow! Friend from baby stage. Really, very few people have that. Closest I have is a friend from Gr1...and she lives in the UK, so it's not like we get to spend a lot of time together.

  3. I don't have old friends like that but I do have 2 very close friends who have put a lot of effort into things like my wedding, baby showers etc. I am in contact with friends from pre-primary school but we are not in each others daily lives.

    mmm I am not sure if I actually miss the interaction to be honest. I am quiet happy to be at home on my own (with Emma). I get out daily (most days) to gym and have a lovely yoga class, we do Moms and Babes once a week and in between I do have a coffee date or two. For me, it is enough. People will always say stuff or assume things - you have to just let it go - unless what they say bothers you enough to change it

  4. Oh my friend... I get those comments ALL THE TIME: "lady of leisure", "doing nothing all day" and "what do you do with all your time?" ... It is a seriously a "Smile and wave" situation. I used to work like a normal person from 8:30 till 5... I used to answer to a boss, and stress about money. Then I grew up, now I work 24/7, I am pretty much the boss and money... well I have faith, a lot of it!!! My work is not so much sitting at a desk but you know laundry, dishes, mopping floors... I know kind of menial service tasks. In my head I always think those folk with all their comments probably don't know how to clean a house and certainly couldn't clean a house and look after a bunch of kids at the same time. Honestly it requires all my brain power every single day to keep it rolling along, and I am happy with that... I believe our kids will grow up and do what we do long before they do what we say... so acts of service no matter how menial, they are going to see plenty of them, and ignoring people that speak before they think... well my kids have seen a lot of that too!!! You really have to take the confidence you have when things are going really well and keep it in your pocket for when they aren't... because there are plenty of times at work or at home where you are going to need the all the confidence you can get.

  5. Holla!
    Still here. It's just summer and I haven't been very *connected* to anything.
    In fact, we're getting ready to head out again! Hope the party was a success!!

  6. Thanks for the LOVELY post about my party! Love the pics. And yes I am very blessed to have 2 very good friends!!

    P.S. Don't worry about those comments from people, I think they are just secretly jealous that they are not in that situation. Try to let it go in one ear and out the other!

  7. Eeeeeep, I think I might have asked you once or twice when you are thinking of going back to work. Sorry! Now that I know it's a bug bear AND that you are working from home I will not ask again ;-)

    I have a friend from high school who I think would do that for me. Problem is she lives in Dubai and our time is so limited when we do get together. BUT when we do spend time together it is like no time at all has passed.


  8. I do actually have a friend like that. We're spending the day together on Thursday! If I could do those things then I would be that friend too!

    Remember what I said in that last post? Have a standard answer for those comments. People make assumptions and don't think before they speak sometimes. In general, they are just dumb!

  9. Take into consideration that for most of June, Mercury was in retrograde. This usually seems to make the best plans go awry. Take it easy on yourself when that is going on and know things will pick back up now that it is over. Love these pics!

  10. Tell them to go and fly a kite (myself included if I may have said these things to you!). Although Proverbs does tell us to choose our words wisely so perhaps smile and wave is a better option :)
    I do have friends from way back when who I try to catch up with when I go back to Durbs, but my real life everyday friends..yes, I've had them since school days, you met some of them, so I feel really blessed in the friend department!

  11. I am fortunate to be working with two of my very best friends. They have both become counselors at the you can imagine we counsel each other often over a cup of coffee.


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