Sunday, July 06, 2014

In exactly 1 month's time I turn 40

I've been stressing about what to do for my 40th.

For starters, I'm well aware that

1) this is a gift of free time that won't always be there and I want to use it well
2) a 40th should be a bit more special than a normal birthday, and I always celebrate those ones anyway
3) it's also a bit frivolous to spend HUGE amounts of money seeing as I'm partially living off my business and some savings

Then I had these additional thoughts:

  • I want lots of friends around me - lunch or supper here?
  • My absolute ideal (STILL!) was always to have a birthday at a house on the beach with friends doing friend-y things - connection, food, photos, etc. (BTW, I want to organise a South African photography retreat like this. Does this type of thing speak to anyone?)
  • The more likely version - my family at the beach

What I always envisioned for my 40th was having these 5-year-old cuties (okay, I have those) and having a night-time party with a Marcia-type theme, but still relaxed, nice food, etc.

I somehow imagined this at my old work campus but since that is not an option, it all kind-of fell apart.

So I decided on Ballito for a few days and a lunch at home for friends on the weekend before.

Except.... D's company is launching some stuff the week after my birthday so that is crazy time. They weren't sure of dates for a long time but last week it was confirmed and it won't work out for him to take leave. Basically we'd hardly see him because he'd be working all the time.

After I asked in that post if I'm mad to think of going alone with the kids, and got all your opinions, I got quiet and said to myself, "what would have to happen for me to SHINE?" and clearly, I would have to go.

A twin mother from the infertility group once said YEARS ago that she drove down to Dbn when the babies were 6 months old, and since then she's felt super confident. If she could do that with twins, then she could do anything.

I kind-of feel like that.

So I've booked our flights, paid for our accommodation and will be celebrating my birthday on the beach in Ballito.

Louisa's comment gave me pause so I asked my mother if she'd like to come too. She was keen at first but wanted to bring my niece (3) with her, and I said NO. It's supposed to be a holiday for me; I don't want MORE kids than I need to have. She understood (and understands me) so now she's checking on some work requirements especially since she's actually on leave at the moment (!) and will get back to me.

Either way, we'll be fine, right??? It will just be nice for the Granny: Grandkids quality time and also to get some help with food/ washing dishes.

So now MY party planning needs to kick into high gear. Eeek!

What is the ideal way you'd like to spend your next birthday?


  1. You know my thought on self-catering holidays!!!

    I think you would have fun with the babies even if grandma can't make it. Just remember not to sweat the small things and know that certain things might not go the way you want it but it would still be fine.

    I actually never do anything for my birthday. What I've done for a few years now is take the day off so at least I'm not work.

    1. honestly, it's quicker for me most times to whip up something than to get everyone on the same page, get in the car and get someone, order, and then eat.

      100% agree on the no work. NEVER EVER EVER again will I work on my bday!

  2. I think that you'll have a great time, with or without grandma along, but I hope she goes along just so you have some grownup conversation and a extra pair of hands if needed.

    I never really feel like celebrating my birthday. It's too cold, and I'd rather be under a blanket than up and about entertaining people. ;-) I do a BIG Nicola birthday in December and I mostly get to see my favourite people at the same time.

    1. That's the truth - it's usually too cold, esp the last couple of years. I remember my early years in Jhb (94 - 2000) when by the time my birthday rolled around I was wearing short sleeves and a thin jersey. The last few years have been full-on winter wear.

  3. I'd take the niece with, because it provides more entertainment for the kids and allows me more wine time and book reading time.
    I always like a big picnic for big celebrations. Makes you catering costs less and if possible dont have it at your house. Just provide cake and champers. Easy fuss free and lots of fun.

    1. That sounds great...and very cost-effective!

      But no to the niece :) I can just hear me trying to stop my kids bossing the little one, or one being excluded.

  4. Sounds like a lovely plan of action for your birthday. For me I just want to have some cake and spend time with my family for my birthday. That said for my 40th (still 4 years away) I plan on having a nice dinner out with close friends and family.


    1. Hey, don't rub it in. I'm firmly latching onto the genuine looks of amazement I've received from people like WHAT? you're turning 40? impossible. :)

  5. You are going to have SUCH a great time with the kids and I really think that you'll be just fine. Two five year olds are WAY easier than two 6month olds.
    I am having roti and curry with my family this year with a warm dessert. I think it will be Malva and custard. OR bread and butter pudding. Still deciding. Probably no cake. I'll see how I feel on the day. Am spending the day with a friend. We're going out for brunch and wine tasting in Durbanville Hills. I cannot WAIT for those views! Hopefully there won't be rain.

    I went on holiday for my birthday two years ago and I LOVED LOVED LOVED it. I think that was one of my BEST birthdays EVER. I am going to book for my 2015 birthday holiday by the end of this year, I wanted to do Mauritius for my 40th. Then Elton told me that this time of the year is cyclone weather in Mauritius. So plans have been changed. IT will be Mozambique or even Zanzibar! I invited everyone this past weekend and told them to start saving already!

  6. I did not realise it before but we are turning 40 on the same day! Nothing big planned here or i'm not in the confidence! Inwas hoping to go see my family oversea but the fights were way too expensive...and since we are moving to our new house later this year this was not in the budget!

  7. My last two birthdays have been a little uneventful and disappointing so I may make a proper plan for next year. I don't really mind what I do as long as I have my friends around.

  8. Oh I hope your mom can come and you will have a great great time!


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