Thursday, May 07, 2015

Let's talk twin parties

So these kids are very different. They love each other dearly, and also fight like cat and dog sometimes.

Perfectly normal children.

But twins.

pic by Kendra :)

Up to now we've had one party for both (and a half birthday playdate/ party of sorts).

We're still debating whether to have one joint party or two little parties for the kids.

The thing is this - if we have two little parties, I'm having them at home but if we have one joint party, I have a GREAT idea in mind and it happens to be at a venue.

I introduced the party thing slowly and of course, one child wanted a joint one and one wanted separate.

So we gave it some space.

Then a few days ago I broached the subject again and this time I asked them to tell me who they wanted to invite.

Amazingly they each separately (I physically separate them because I don't want any of the "me too" behaviour) named 8 children.

8 different children!

8 kids invited means 4 - 5 pitch, especially since my kids have birthdays smack-bang in the middle of the school holidays.

"no more photos"
I made a new sheet in my party spreadsheet, and we colour-coded the kids' names in pink (Kendra's guests) and blue (Connor's guests) and green (my guests - me and D, granny and aunty C).

Then I brought the kids together into the same room, showed them the spreadsheet and there was DRAMA.
I don't want such-and-such at my party because he's mean.

And so on.

Dear Lord.

So I stopped the discussions and we will pick them up another day.

BUT if we (they!) can't agree on the kids to be invited, then we might just go the separate parties route.

How difficult can it be? :)

I adore this sulky pic so much - it speaks volumes :)

D says it's my own fault for giving them a choice but really, I LOVE that they are real little people with ideas and thoughts and opinions, and we can have consequences and object lessons and I'm scaring you away, right?

If we do separate parties, I'd do them both on one day - two birds with one stone and all that.... have the house a big mess on one day and it's done!

For the twin moms out there, whether you have same gender twins or not, do you plan to start doing separate parties anytime soon?

And for the rest of you, do you think I'm crazy?

PS it is exactly two months til these children turn 6!


  1. Right now, the boys have the same friends, so it's not a big deal. This year, we are going to stick to something small with family (Tom's family is huge, so it's still a big party, but we do it at my MILs where everyone goes over the holiday weekend - it's Memorial Day here right before their birthday). Now, Phoebe has friends that are boy/girl twins. The mom knows they have different friends, so she has separate parties for them one on Saturday the other on Sunday and they invite their own friends. I think Phoebe is the only friend they have in common, LOL.

  2. In my mind I like the idea of kids having a choice but another part of me thinks D is right! Though the important thing is that they need to have fun whatever happens

    Ps: a venue! No way I can't even believe you are considering it

  3. I think it's great to let them have choices. I try to let my kids choose, too. But I also set limits according to what my budget can accommodate, otherwise they'd go completely OTT!

  4. Separate parties at home with four friends only....they need to come up with a mutual agreement on who is invited...then they are making choices, making decisions and learning compromise...

  5. My two have totally different friends (Mainly because of the grades thing) but up to now we have had one party. They can invite exactly who they want - the other have no say in their choice - I set that out from the start. And they are ok with it because it means he other can not boycott any of their guests.

    However I do see separate parties somewhere in the future. Maybe even this year. And they will be small parties - maybe after school 4 friends at the Spur things

  6. To date, we're still having parties where we invite all the kids in the girls' class (like in preschool), or where we invite non-school friends (this year). Those lists are the same for the girls, so the idea of separate parties has never crossed my mind.

    I'm hoping to keep the girls' to one party for the foreseeable future. If, when they're 12 or so and want to do something different, that seems more palatable for me.

    I LOVE the sulking picture!!!!!!!!!!! Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Did you explain the details of your joint party, or just leave it as one big party? Could they be persuaded to cooperate for the sake of the theme/venue??

    You know we don't do parties and after reading person after person fret over these things I'm so much more comfortable with it!

  8. I definitely don't think you're crazy. I would probably do separate parties if I was a Mom of twins, for the simple reason that all those kids and all that noise and all those parents in my space would completely overwhelm me! I guess there are some pros and cons to doing it all on the same day but I think that if you have help, then it will be fine! I think Tertia does separate parties. In fact, they do their parties before the December holidays. It's been happening for a few years now.

  9. You know me.. I would have ONE BIG OPSKOP.. her friends, his friends AND family! And I like what one of the other commenters said.. too bad if you don't like the other kid's choice, you have no say on their guest list! I do think this only works for so long though.. there will come a time when the parties will have to be separate. I think you could still get away with it for another year or two though.

  10. Crazy to have two parties! Hats off to you!! ;-)

  11. This is coming from a mom who has no idea about parenting twins BUT i would do for separate parties especially since they are so different and different genders. If you had singletons born apart you would do two parties so why would this be different especially as they are getting older and having their own friend circles etc?



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