Tuesday, May 05, 2015
So Queen Brene Brown (which is what Momastery's G calls her) has this delicious turn of phrase.
This definition is from Brene's teachings:
“the feeling that sweeps over us after we feel the need to connect… and we share something deeply meaningful. Minutes, hours, or days later, we begin to feel regret sweep over us like a warm wave of nausea.”
Sometimes when you're vulnerable like that you're met with acceptance and acknowledgement which is really nice, and makes the sharing worth it. Like my one friend C and I when we both discovered the other was also infertile while chatting at work one day many years ago. Or I hope how I responded to a teacher I met at a school we visited last year.
But what about when there's crickets? Radio silence. Just nothing.
It is honestly one of the worst feelings in the world.
I had one of these vulnerability hangovers recently.
I had a perception of a situation and then received information that was very different to what I thought, which hurt me.
As I usually do, I took a full day and a half to think things through and process, and then I responded by being vulnerable and sharing from my heart.
And absolutely nothing was said about that sharing of my heart.
I felt awful, made another attempt and the awkwardness was worse, if possible.
So I have no easy how-tos on what to do when you're left dangling.
I thought about it and wondered if, in hindsight, I regretted opening my heart, and decided no. It's exactly how I felt then and I own my feelings (to speak a bit of psycho-babble).
But I will admit it's given me pause for the next time.
Maybe you've had a similar situation?
Did it make you not want to be vulnerable again?