We are all multi-faceted and incredibly complex human beings, and we therefore define ourselves in many different ways.
I've been introduced as a mother of twins, organised, someone I met on the internet, etc.
All terrible descriptions, at least to me. You can call my house organised anytime, by the way :)
I think I object to these descriptions because they're just things that happened to me, not who I am at my core.
I'm grateful to parent these twins but I like to think that if I had the four I'd wanted (as Kendra has taken to telling everyone she meets!), I'd still be the same sort of parent. So how does having twins make me more special?
Same with being organised. I honestly, down to my deepest inners believe that anyone can be organised. It's a skill like learning to use Excel or Word, and we can all do it.
People don't say, oh this is Marcia and she can use Excel, so why is being organised that special?
(granted, I have called some of my colleagues Excel geniuses, but that's not how I introduce them to others!)
I read a post on a blog recently where the lady's friend died and she said things like, "she was such a great friend; she never let me hide away and she cared deeply for all of us".
Now that's just lovely.
I think it hurts when friends introduce me to others as "she has twins" or "she's so organised" because I think, "wow, I'm all this and that's all that comes to mind? Is there nothing else I am or represent to you that you could have said?"
I turned the tables and asked myself how I would have described the person and I could think of many other ways.
I have had one awesome introduction which I mentioned here before, which was Laura, who said I'm the most intentional person she knows.
That's the kind of thing that thrills and delights me. Thanks again, Laura, I will remember that moment forever!
So where's this going?
I was wondering if there's a way to reinvent yourself?
Clearly if the words people use to describe you aren't floating your boat, you should do something about it.
I was asked to proofread an email at work the other day "because Marcia's the nicest one of us here". I told them, "I'm taking that as a compliment". What they meant to say was that I write diplomatic emails without letting people off the hook. Also, no-one's ever called me nice!
Some nice things by previous bosses of mine - I'm the most passionate person (ha! that's his way of saying I gave him beans!) and that I care deeply for my clients (true!).
How would you like people to describe you?
How would you describe me?
PS D really gets me more than anyone else on earth. So when one of these incidents happen, I ask him the second question above and he says exactly the right thing for which I'm extremely grateful :)
PPS these pics have nothing to do with anything - I think they were our last pics from last year's project 52 and I love them... although I feel cold just looking :)